


Free Fall

by Cargo



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-03-08 22:45:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18904198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cargo/pseuds/Cargo
Summary: Buck can feel the hope starting to fade, but Eddie's there, reassuring him and saving his life even after he gets out of the hospital.[ basically the s2 finale, but buddie-ified + extended ]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this immediately after I watching the season finale and now one week later, I'm finally releasing chapter one! I have a couple of chapters already written and am stoked to share this large mess with you all! Big love homies ~

When Eddie does a mental head count, just after the ladder truck has flipped and the smokey haze is still thick in the air, his heart drops.

His heart drops because he doesn't see _Buck_.  He frantically looks around, his pulse quickening with every moment that he can't spot that blond hair and those perfect blue eyes. He's desperate; his ears are still ringing from the accident and maybe it's shock, or maybe it's fear, but he instantly gets a bad feeling about the whole thing.

When he finally locks onto the man, onto his best friend and his favourite human in the world (besides Christopher), he feels a pang in his chest. He's about to run over because Buck is groaning in pain, he's hurt and his leg is trapped beneath literal tons of metal. Hen holds him back, she holds him back and Eddie fights it at first, but then he sees what she's seeing. He sees the young guy approach the scene, strapped up in a bomb vest, trigger in hand, obviously nothing to lose.

Eddie, however, has _everything_ to lose. If he makes the wrong move and the kid with the bombs ends it all, Buck dies, Chris probably loses his only remaining parent, and his whole team's fate suddenly gets thrown up in the air.

So, going against every grain of his entire body, he stays still and waits it out. He has his eyes on Buck the entire time, hoping by some chance the blond'll look over and see that he's not alone, that Eddie's got him. Eddie's _got_ him.

The second that Bobby takes him down and the threat is eliminated, Eddie is rushing over, falling to his knees in front of Buck and instantly trying to get a read on his condition. Hen is by his side a split second later and they're quickly working to stabilize him. Eddie slips the c-collar around Buck's neck, speaking soft words of encouragement and trying to calm him. 

Buck is in the most pain he's ever been in. Ever. In his whole life. He wants to scream or cry, maybe both, but his body and mind are frozen in agony. He listens to the words that continually spew out of Eddie, they're soft and comforting, a grounding safety amongst the waves of excruciating torture.

When they try to lift the damn truck for the first time, Buck does finally scream. It's not necessarily the loudest scream in the world, but it's one of the worst Eddie's heard. Buck continues to cry out in pain as the truck shifts slightly against his leg. The edges of his vision turn white hot and he feels close to passing out. A moment later, when the crew of the 118 attempt a second lift, Buck reaches out and grasps onto Eddie's hand, pulling it close and bracing his forehead against Eddie's forearm. Buck lets out a strangled yell and is vaguely aware that Eddie is carefully brushing his hair back, still anchoring him with soft phrases of encouragement, a tangible safety net that surrounds Buck like a warm blanket.

"Ed-eddie." Buck rasps out, tears pouring from his eyes, panicked gaze locked onto the man above him.

"It's gonna be okay, Buck, I got you." Eddie assures him, watching as civilians start pouring out of the gates and making their way to the truck. "We all got you." He mumbles then, noticing that Buck tries to put on a brave face, tries to hide how much he was hurting.

Buck gives the slightest nod, ignoring Chimney as he began shouting orders and instead, completely focusing on Eddie and getting the hell out of there.

Buck blacks out when the weight of the truck has finally been lifted off his leg. He'd meant to help, to assist Eddie and Hen as they dragged him out from underneath the rig, maybe pull a bit of his own weight, but he just _couldn't_. They heave him onto the backboard, and even in his haze, Buck won't release the white knuckled grip he has on Eddie's hand. Eddie doesn't let go either, he helps secure Buck and assists in getting the gurney over to the ambulance. He wants to ride along and no one is stopping him, not when he's the only one able to console Buck when he regains consciousness and screams at the top of his lungs. 

It's a short ambulance ride that feels like an eternity in passing. Eddie can't help but think that this is almost worse than watching someone die. Buck's in so much pain that his broken voice can only produce cut off groans and silent gasps. His breathing is heavy and hitching with every bump and pothole they hit, his hand gripping the side of the bed so hard that the blood flow to his fingers has temporarily ceased.

Eddie can't help but be reminded of how he'd watched Shannon die in this ambulance not long ago, and he really doesn't know if he can watch Buck do the same. He doesn't think he'd ever be okay if he lost him. 

Eddie is still holding his other hand, but he's noticed that the other man's grip is getting weak as the effects of the accident catch up to him. Buck's eyes are half-lidded and he's biting his lip to keep from screaming again, but Eddie knows that it's a battle he's losing. He attempts to distract Buck from everything by leaning into Buck's line of sight and cupping the side of his face with his free hand, brushing his thumb along his defined cheekbone.

Hen initially gives him a look, but seems pleased when Buck's eyes eagerly latch onto Eddie, his breathing instantly settling down as his body slowly stops shaking.

 

Eddie wants to stay with Buck when they get to the hospital, but the doctors hastily push him away and get to work on their new patient. As they're split up, Eddie has tears, _real_ tears, sitting heavy in his eyes. He worriedly watches the gurney being wheeled into a trauma room and hears the echo of Buck's agonizing groans and yells.

He's soon pacing the waiting room while he waits for any news on Buck. Everyone is there, 118's crew, Carla, Maddie, and some other chick that Eddie doesn't recognize. He learns later that her name is Ali and she's Buck's latest love interest; Eddie ignores the spark of jealousy when he hears all about her.

It's been hours since Buck went into surgery and every single moment feels like an eternity, but Eddie can't shut off. His mind won't stop running a million miles per minute and he can't get Buck's agonizing screams out of his head. He's starting to feel like he's in a tailspin as he sits there, thinking only the worst. Everyone else seems just as rattled by the events, but they're holding it in, they're internalizing the emotions and putting up a strong front, so Eddie tries to do the same.

He eventually sits down and finds himself in a half-doze when the doctor comes and says they've moved Buck to a recovery room, followed by the order that only family members were allowed see him for now. Eddie wishes he could go. He almost does, he's sure he could come up with some excuse, but Ali beats him to the chase, following Maddie as the doctor led them to Buck's room. It's a bitter reminder that he's just a friend, he's not family, not in the way he wants to be. Nonetheless, Eddie doesn't let that overshadow his excitement that Buck was okay, that he was going to pull through.

Bobby stands and looks around at his equally relieved, weary team, "You should all get home and get some rest. Like the doctor said, Buck's going to be just fine and we can all visit tomorrow."

There's a distinct screeching of chairs as everyone begins getting up, soft mumbles and footsteps the only sounds as they slowly filed out of the waiting room. 

Eddie stays glued to his seat, doesn't bother to hide his surprise when Bobby is suddenly standing in front of him.

"Get some rest, Eddie." He says, even though he already knows that won't happen. Not yet, not when things were so fresh, and not before he sees Buck for himself.

"I will, Cap." Eddie replies with a nod, eyes lifting to see the knowing look Bobby gives him.

Bobby gives him a nod of affirmation in return, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze before walking out of the otherwise empty waiting room.

 

When Buck wakes, it's to a white room, white walls, a white ceiling, and white lights. He squints against the harshness of the bright assault, groans a little at the soreness of his body. It's a big job to get his eyes open, but eventually he succeeds.

Ali throws herself at him the instant she sees his eyelids flutter open, bombarding him with kisses he didn't feel up for and grabbing him despite his obvious discomfort and pain.

"Mads." Buck mumbles out, setting his eyes on his sister over Ali's shoulder.

Maddie, who'd been standing back a little, smirks and makes her way to the opposite side of the bed. She ignores Ali's attempts to make a gooey show of affection with Buck, and instead settles for slipping her hand into Buck's.

"How d'you feel, little brother?" She asks, a kind of love and comfort in her voice that only a big sister knows how to give. 

Buck melts into it, gives Maddie a broken sigh and squeezes her hand. "I'll be okay." He rasps, trying to smile despite feeling the pull of stitches somewhere amongst his hairline.

"You sure will." Ali nods, smiling at Buck endearingly when she finally pulls away from him a little. "You can be a dispatcher just like your sister, you'll find something."

"Wh-what?" Buck asks, voice wavering as he makes a weak attempt to sit up. "Did the doctor say something? Is it—"

"Relax, Buck." Maddie soothes, "We haven't spoken with the doctor yet, we don't know anything."

Buck tries to breathe but things are too much and he can feel himself starting to hyperventilate. Ali feels heavy, she's crushing his bruised ribs with a the kind of hug he doesn't want and trying to speak words he doesn't want to hear. Overwhelmed seems like a quickly growing understatement.

"Ali, th-thank you for coming, b-b-but you n-need to go now." Buck utters, eyes wide as he looks to Maddie for support.

Maddie gives his hand a reassuring squeeze and looks up at the other woman. "He's a bit overwhelmed right now," She says, when Ali doesn't move.

"What?" Ali seems confused and Buck can't exactly blame her, last time they'd been together they were all over each other. 

But Buck can't get a breath in edgewise, let alone control his tangled mess of thoughts, and he needs her to not be here. "Go. Please." He says in a quieter tone, his unsteady gaze and broken expression leaving no room for argument.

Ali has the audacity to look offended, but she doesn't argue and leaves the room without a second word.

"Mads?" Buck utters, still unable to breath properly, despite his best efforts.

"Yeah, Bucky?" She replies worriedly, still holding his hand in hers. She has a sad smile on her face, like she's trying to be strong for Buck but having a hard time.

"I n-need Eddie." He nods, squeezing her hand and looking at her with panic in his every feature. His voice is cracking through every second syllable but he's too far gone to pretend he's fine now. "Pl-please."

 

Eddie was almost asleep for the second time when Maddie comes to get him. Her facial expression is one that immediately worries him, but he tries not to think the worst until he knows what's going on. Maddie is in an obvious rush and he follows her back to the room without question, listening as she expanded on the situation on the walk over.

"I'm going to get a coffee." Maddie says as they pause in front of the door, "Send me a text if you need back up."

Buck lets out a choked gasp when he lays his eyes on Eddie, a hand instinctively reaching out towards the man.

Eddie immediately goes to his side, careful not to crowd him as he cautiously sits on the edge of the mattress.

"Hey, Buck." Eddie speaks softly, gently reaching out and grabbing the hand that Buck had extended towards him. His eyes drag over his best friend in a split second, briefly eying the cast, followed by the other scrapes and bruising that had come as a result of the accident.

"Ed-Eddie." Buck wheezes, his breathing worse now than when Maddie had left him.

"I'm here," Eddie nods reassuringly, eyes levelling with Buck, "What's going on?"

"I don't know." Buck shakes his head, and maybe that's the worst thing, he doesn't know _why_ he can't breathe. He doesn't understand what's going on and he feels like the full weight of the entire night is hitting him in one second.

"What can I do to help?" Eddie asks softly, a worried gaze settling onto Buck.

"Make it st-stop." Buck stammers out, another breath hitching in his throat.

"Just focus on me," Eddie instructs carefully, reaching up and gently brushing back his messy, disheveled hair, same as he'd done when Buck was pinned under the rig and during the ambulance ride. "It's just you and me, don't worry about anything else in the world right now."

"But what about my leg? What if I ca-can't be a f-firefighter?" Buck chokes out, his words as shaky as his hands.

"We're going to figure out a lot of that in the morning, we'll talk to the doctor and see how the surgery went, and we'll go from there." Eddie assures him with a nod.

Buck nods sceptically, feeling the protest from his ribcage as his lungs continue to steamroll his chest with harsh, irregular, panicky breaths. He tries to sit up in bed again and he's met with the same difficulty he'd had the first time.

"Evan," Eddie shakes his head, eyes pleading with the man in front of him. "Slow down okay?"

Buck just looks at him brokenly and gives some semblance of a nod.

"Okay, just lay down," Eddie has hands pressing gently against Buck's shoulders, guiding him back to the mattress. "Now breathe. Can you breathe for me?" 

Buck wants to. He wants to say yes and do everything that Eddie tells him to do, but right now it feels like his body and mind are running in two separate directions. "Eddie." He says under his breath, eyes glazed and hands moving up to grab at his own hair, pulling at it in frustration and pain.

Eddie gingerly reaches over and pulls Buck's hands away from his head and starts speaking again, tries to get him out of his own mind. "Ev, focus on my breathing, okay? You've already gotten through so much today, you can do this."

Eddie takes some intentional deep breaths, watching as Buck makes an attempt to mirror him. It's definitely slow going and Buck is really feeling the exhaustion set in, but he eventually calms down enough to breathe normally. When Buck's eyes eventually close and he drifts off to sleep, finally at peace, Eddie begins to allow himself relax too. He's almost afraid to sleep, he can't help but worry  that Buck'll wake up and need him, and he wants to be alert when it happens. Eddie tries and tries to fight the heaviness of his eyelids, but he doesn't last long and the intensity of the day quickly catches up to his weary form.

By the time Maddie returns to the room, rejuvenated by a coffee and a snack from the vending machine, both boys are out like a light. She's slightly worried about the tear tracks on her brother's cheeks but she knows that Buck is in good hands, quite literally, she surmises as she spots the interlocked fingers between the two boys. She grins and really isn't able to resist snapping a picture before she settles into a chair, readying herself for the long night ahead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say I'm overwhelmed by all the angelic comments and beautiful souls who have showered me in support !! :') You all mean the world to me, I am truly blessed. I hope this next lil addition serves as a meager thank you of sorts! BigLove™ to each and every one of you!! Happy reading homies! <3

When the first rays of sunlight flood into the room through a small window on the far side of the room, Buck is the first to wake. Bit by bit, his eyes gradually flutter open and he's already feeling a little more himself than last night. He's slightly less exhausted and though he's sore, his mind feels a lot clearer.

"Morning, sleepyhead." Maddie smiles when she looks up from her book to see her brother awake.

Buck turns his head to her and gives her a weak, gravelly sounding, "Hey."

"So, you and Eddie?" Her eyes glance to Eddie where he sits on a chair by the bed, head resting on the mattress beside Buck's leg, completely asleep.

Buck follows her gaze and tries to ignore the fond, warm feeling that bubbles up inside his chest. He also tries to stop himself from blushing when he realizes their hands are twined together right beside Eddie's face. 

"Friends." He rasps, quiet enough that he hopes he won't wake the man.

"You sure?" Maddie raised an eyebrow. "Looks like—"

"Best friends." Buck mumbles in return, before Maddie can further implicate him.

Before either of them can say anything else, Eddie groans, stirring a little as he gradually wakes up. Buck watches shamelessly as Eddie joins the world of the living, admiring his disheveled hair and his perfect sleepy expression. 

Eddie winces as he stretches out his neck, trying to erase the kinks that formed as a result of his not entirely ergonomic position. He catches Maddie's all-knowing look and Buck's small, almost content smile, and he feels like he's missing something. He wonders if the doctor had come in, maybe given Buck the good news he'd been hoping for. 

Maddie pipes up before Eddie's thoughts get any further away. "When do you have to go back to Christopher?"

Eddie initially takes it as a cue to leave, that maybe he'd overstayed his welcome. But Buck's eyes shoot to his, and he almost looks—he almost looks _disappointed_. Or just, sad. Maybe both, probably more.

"He's with my Abuela." Eddie nods, immediately gauging Buck's reaction. "She can look after him as long as I need. My aunt is there too."

"Good." Maddie breathes a sigh of relief. "Dispatch is dangerously short-staffed and they asked me to cover some shifts. They wouldn't ask me right now if things weren't serious. I don't want to leave Buck alone, but if you—"

"I'll stay with him." Eddie nods firmly, turning a softer gaze to Buck, "If he'll let me."

Buck nods sheepishly, tiredly glancing towards Eddie with a little smile on his lips.

"Perfect. I'll be back as soon as I can." Maddie grins, leaning down and pressing a kiss to Buck's forehead before heading out.

Buck carefully adjusts in the bed as Eddie gets up to stretch out his legs. "You don't actually have to stay." Buck murmurs after a few moments, avoiding Eddie's gaze, "I know Christopher is top priority."

"You're my top priority too," Eddie reassures him, coming to stand a little closer to the bed while he rolls his shoulders back and sighs as a little more of the perpetual tension leaves his body.

Buck looks up at him at that, his eyes a picture of uncertainty. "You shouldn't—" he was going to say _stay_ , but as the words are about to come out, he realizes he doesn't really want to give Eddie a reason to go. He already has enough reasons not to be there and if he's still  choosing to stay with Buck over being literally anywhere else, then Buck wants to let it be.

Eddie looks like he's about to prompt Buck to speak further, but a man in a white coat walks into the room before he has the chance.

The doctor introduces himself and gets to work on laying out Buck's prognosis. He'll walk again but he might not work again. And all Buck can hear is the _you might not work again._ Your biggest dream and the only thing you've ever done that _mattered_ , might just go spinning down the drain.

It rings over and over in his mind, and his chest tightens because of it. His headspace had already been wavering with the idea, but now it was tangible; it wasn't just a worry, it was a distinct possible outcome. With the heaviness and fear-instilling reality sinking in, he starts shutting down. There's recognition in Eddie's eyes as he watches Buck start tuning everything out, but he doesn't try to make Buck come back. He knows that Buck is overwhelmed, worried, and scared more than anything else. 

So Eddie just listens intently to everything that the doctor is laying out, he absorbs everything he can so that Buck doesn't have to. So that he doesn't have to be present right now, so that he can put his energy towards healing and getting better and managing his stress in his own way.

 

The doctor eventually slips away and Buck doesn't even really notice, he just lays there and tries to find peace amongst the rapid fire of questions he's now asking himself.

"Buck?" Eddie says slowly, minutes after they'd been left alone.

"Hm." Buck turns his head to look at Eddie, surprised to see inklings of worry edging his otherwise soft smile.

"You okay?" He asks, voice still just as grounding for Buck as it had been last night.

Buck nods and turns his gaze to his hands, which he's anxiously wringing.

"It's me." Eddie continues, eyes boring into Buck, like he can see right through him, through the strong front he's scrambling to put up. "Talk to me _."_

"I'm tired," Buck begins, aware how close he is to losing it again. The tears are right _there_ , the emotions are strong and the weight is crushing him. He desperately hopes that this is just because of the painkillers or the residual shock, not because he's really become so weak. "I just—" The first unsolicited tear makes its debut but he quickly swipes it away, hoping it goes unnoticed, "I don't know, I just don't feel right. It doesn't feel right."

"Your leg?" Eddie asks in concern, ready to call in the nurse. 

But Buck shakes his head, "No, it's fine—the painkillers are doing their job." _Sorta_ , he wants to add, but doesn't because he's being enough of a worry already.

"What's not right then?" Eddie prods. He's moved to sit back on the chair beside Buck, arms crossed and resting on the mattress.

"I don't even know, Eddie," Buck sighs wearily, scrubbing a hand over his face to hopefully conceal his emotions. "I can't even think."

"You don't have to." Eddie encourages, "Resting and recovering is all you gotta to focus on." 

"You were listening to the doctor, did he say any more about if— if I'll... work... again?" Buck can't bear to look anywhere but his hands, doesn't want to see the look of pity in Eddie's eyes if the answer is what Buck thinks it'll be.

"He still wasn't sure if firefighting would be viable career option, but he didn't say it _wouldn't_ be, either." Eddie pauses for a few seconds, "If you ask me, I think you can do it. I think you'll find your way back to the 118. You're too stubborn to let something as trivial as a crushed leg get you down." He teases lightly.

Buck looks up at that. Momentarily considers the disconnect between Eddie and Ali. Ali who had already doubted him and his ability to return to work, and Eddie, who's believing in him, no doubt hidden anywhere in his words.

"Plus, I mean who's going to boss me around all the time?" Eddie continues, a grin spreading across his face.

Buck snorts and shakes his head, "Aren't you usually the one bossing me around?"

"Yeah, good point." Eddie nods, eyes alight with amusement. "I'm going to have to find someone else to boss around til you're back."

"You can still boss me around when you visit," Buck laughs softly before he turns a little serious, "I mean, assuming you ever wanted to visit, you totally don't have to visit me."

"Of course I'm gonna be visiting you." Eddie replies encouragingly, "You'll be sick of me by the time you get that thing off."

"I could never be," Buck answers back, unable to hide the amused smile that spreads onto his face. His voice is quiet as he continues, "Thanks, by the way. For being here and... you know." 

Eddie tentatively finds Buck's hand on the bed and pulls it into a loose grasp, smiles when his own is squeezed in return "I wouldn't have been anywhere else."

 

When Buck finally gets released, he's more than eager to go home. Eddie takes him because of course, Eddie insists and it's not like Buck can really drive himself, not with the hunk of plaster on his leg. 

When they get to Buck's new apartment, Eddie looks up curiously to the sleeping area up in the loft. "How exactly do you plan on, uh—" He motions to the bed.

"Ah," Buck follows his gaze, seeing the implication. "Guess I'm sleeping on the couch for the next three months." He sighs heavily, as if it's just _more_ bad news that he didn't need.

"Come stay with me." Eddie blurts out as Buck sets his crutches against the wall and hops over to the couch, wincing as he lifts his leg onto a cushion.

"No, c'mon, I can't just—" Buck is shaking his head.

"You can." Eddie nods, voice firm as he sits down next to Buck. "It'll be great. I have a spare room, Chris will love it—"

"I don't know." Buck shrugs absentmindedly, eyes betraying his worry and uncertainty. "I'm sure I'll be okay here, plus, you already gotta take care of Chris and—"

Eddie reaches out and lays a hand on Buck's shoulder. It's easy and friendly, but definitely feels too intimate to be particularly platonic. It lingers there, warm and inviting, while he speaks. "I mean if you'd rather not that's totally fine, it's just—" He pauses, unsure if his next words would be well received. "I'd feel better if you weren't alone."

"He won't be alone." A voice startles both men and their eyes shoot over toward the other side of the apartment. 

"Ali?" Buck says, surprised to see her. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to look after you." She says with a smile, setting her bag down on the floor before she makes her way over to where the boys were sitting. 

"How'd you even get in?" Buck tilts his head in confusion.

"The door was unlocked." Ali shrugs, sitting on the chair opposite the couch and shifting around, like she was staying for the long haul.

"I uh—" Buck begins, ducking his head a little. They'd been texting while he'd been in the hospital, but he thought he was clear about needing some space. She was still convinced he'd never be a firefighter again and she certainly didn't waste an opportunity to remind him of the odds. She may not have had the intent, but she'd been making him feel undeniably hopeless and lost, like he was stranded with no way to get home. 

Eddie stands and feels like he should leave, like this is something that he shouldn't really be there for. Buck grabs his forearm as he's about to walk away and sends him a pleading look. Eddie doesn't know what Buck is pleading for, exactly, but he hopes it's something along the lines of _don't go._

He still thinks he should give the two some space, so he shoots Buck a reassuring glance and takes a walk to the other side of the apartment, busying himself with making a pot of coffee in the kitchen. (Leave it to Buck to have the coffee machine unpacked before any other appliance.)

Buck frowns, watching Eddie go before he turns to Ali, an expression on his face that she couldn't place. "I need someone who's going to support me."

Ali shakes her head, seems confused. "I am supporting you, I'm— Buck, I came _here_ to take care of you."

Buck looks at her—like, really looks at her. "But that's not the kind of support I really need right now."

"Tell me what you need then." Ali shrugs.

"I've been telling you this whole time, but you're not listening."

"If this is about the firefighting—" Ali sighs, like she's already had enough of the conversation. "You don't need it, there are a lot of other jobs out there,"

"Not for me," Buck shakes his head, "There's nothing else in the world I want to do."

"Stop being so stubborn, c'mon, we've been over this. There's no hope of getting back there, just move on." She says, as if that's the obvious answer and Buck is that simple.

"Ali. Just stop." Buck is getting frustrated now, it's the dozenth time she's repeated this to him. "You're not helping."

"I just think it's important to think about your future here." Ali looks at him with renewed vigour, "You need to move past your unrealistic dreams and get real with yourself."

"Maybe _you_ need to get past your unrealistic expectations of me." Buck replies, his voice conveying how weak and tired he felt.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ali seems bewildered but Buck can't figure out why, they'd had this conversation over text only a couple of hours prior.

"You're telling me to quit my job." Buck points out incredulously.

"You don't even have a _job_ to quit!" Ali fires back, ending with a frustrated groan.

"I think you should go." Buck replies, no energy to continue with whatever this is turning into.

"No, there's no way I'm leaving, not when you—"

She's interrupted by Eddie coming over and approaching the two. Buck watches it happen and can't help but be relieved by his best friend's presence.

"Ali, right?" Eddie asks with a smile, reaching out a hand to her.

She shakes it reluctantly, eager to get back to hammering the facts into Buck.

"How about I walk you to the door." Eddie suggest, a small smile gracing his lips as he spoke.

"No—"

"Come on." Eddie interrupts, grandly wrapping an arm around her shoulders and guiding her away from Buck. "He needs time," He mutters under his breath, hoping that Ali has enough common sense to listen. Surprisingly, she doesn't fight it and the easy silence returns to the apartment. 

Bearing two freshly poured cups of coffee and a smile big enough to light up LA, Eddie returns to the other side of the apartment. He carefully passes a steaming mug to Buck, who takes it eagerly, unable to stop himself from having a premature sip.

"Thanks for saving me." Buck mumbles, letting his head flop back against the couch, his eyes trained on Eddie as he sits in the chair that Ali had occupied only moments ago.

"She's very—" Eddie tries for a few moments to come up with an appropriate word. "—spirited."

"She definitely knows what she wants." Buck tries to smile, but it's a little too sad and forced and it worries Eddie.

"How do you feel?"

"Tired." Buck replies without hesitancy, "I just want to sleep."

"Where do you want to sleep?" Eddie asks curiously.

"A bed. Preferably one that's close to wherever you're planning to be." Buck shrugs, eyes half-lidded already. 

"I think that can be arranged," Eddie replies easily, smile on his lips. 

Buck nods in relief and looks down at the hot liquid inside his cup, "You sure Christopher won't mind?"

"He's going to love it." Eddie grins because he can just _see_ it, he can just imagine Buck and his son interacting, making each other laugh, having the time of their lives. 

"Well I better pack some things then." Buck suggests, getting onto his good leg with a soft groan and setting the hot coffee on the table by the couch. 

A majority of the moving boxes are still stacked downstairs so he's able to access most things pretty easily, and with Eddie's help, he's packed in under twenty minutes. 

They're about to head out when Buck freezes. "I should've probably asked already, but uh—how long exactly am I staying with you?" He asks, almost nervously.

"Until you can walk up to your own bed," Eddie motions to the staircase going up to the loft. "Or until you want to go, I guess."

"Well, maybe I should run up to the loft and grab my—" He begins, trailing off as he remembers his inability to get up those stairs.

"What do you need?" Eddie beams, "I can get it."

"My uh— my uniform. It's on a hanger in my closet."

Eddie raises an eyebrow, but he doesn't question it, simply walks up and retrieves it.

It's only a moment later before Eddie comes back down the stairs. He's about to hand the uniform to Buck, but quickly decides it might be better if he carries it himself. Buck is still trying to get used to the crutches and really, last thing he needs is to go and break the other leg.

Buck smiles at the subtle gesture and answers the unspoken question between them. "I'm going to need something to wear to your shield ceremony." 

Eddie's eyes shoot up to his, "I thought you're supposed to rest—"

"You thought I'd miss that?" Buck inquires with a soft smile, "They'd have to pin me under another municipal vehicle to keep me away."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is my humble offering for the week, I hope you will all enjoy! Thank you for the continued support, you guys rock!! You're such treasures :') !! <3

As soon Eddie pulls up to his Abuela's house, Chris starts eagerly making his way down the front steps and towards the car. Eddie quickly hops out and meets him halfway, happily lifting him into the air and giving him a long, much needed hug. 

"Thank you." He murmurs softly as he watches his Abuela approach.

"Any time." She smiles, handing him Christopher's bag and a drawing he'd made earlier in the day. A picture of Chris, Eddie, Buck, and a firetruck, with _'Get well soon Bucky!'_ written on the top in crayon.

"Did you make this?" Eddie grinned, looking at the drawing.

"Yeah," Christopher nods, "To make Bucky's leg better."

"He's gonna love it." Eddie grins, taking a second look at the adorable picture. "You did such a good job."

"Thanks, daddy." Chris grins, wrapping his arms more tightly around Eddie's neck.

"You're welcome." Eddie replies, relishing in the sweet embrace of his little boy, "Should we get home? I have a special surprise."

"Yeah." Chris says eagerly as Eddie sets him down. "Let's go."

Eddie says his final goodbyes and leads Chris to the truck. 

"What's the surprise?" Chris asks cheerfully, determinedly focusing on the walk ahead.

"You'll see in a second." Eddie grins, keeping pace with his son as he speeds along. He hasn't had a chance to tell Chris that Buck was going to be roomie número tres.

"Bucky!" Christopher immediately exclaims, excitement taking over when he spots the man sitting in the passenger side. "Is Bucky the surprise? Is he coming over?"

Eddie nods, unable to stifle the soft laugh that tumbles from his chest. 

"Hey, Superman." Buck smiles tiredly, twisting his head to watch as Chris got into the back seat.

"Are you coming over?" Christopher asks excitedly.

"I sure am." Buck replies slowly, laughing softly at the exhilarated squeal that Chris lets out.

"Oh, I made you—" Chris briefly looks around for his drawing, but remembers his dad has it. "Daddy? Where—"

"I got it," Eddie nods, setting the bag on the floor and handing Chris the paper. "Here you go, buddy."

Chris grins and hands the artwork to Buck. Buck takes a moment to soak it all in. 

While Eddie is making sure Chris is securely buckled, he can tell that Buck is fighting off a plethora of emotions.

"Thanks, Christopher. I didn't know you were so amazing at drawing!" Buck replies, attempting to convey his excitement through his voice, before clearing his throat and carding a hand through his hair. A single tear escapes his eye and it rolls down his cheek and when Eddie climbs into the driver's seat a few moments later, Buck makes no attempt to hide it.                                           

"Do you like it?" Chris asked almost worriedly, as they pulled away from the curb. "Daddy? Bucky's crying, does that mean he doesn't like it?"                   

Eddie looks up in the review mirror to peek at his son. He's about to say something on the matter, but Buck interrupts before he can.

"I just had something in my eye. I love it so much," Buck says with a smile, wiping at his cheek when a few more drops escape his eyes. "It's the best drawing I've ever gotten, it made my whole day."

"Yay!" Chris grins in response before happily chatting about his day, telling them all about the fun things he did.

When they arrived to the Diaz household, Eddie knew that Buck probably wouldn't last much longer. It was early evening by this point, and the little energy that Buck had had, was all but expended. The accident had taken a lot out of him and it'd be slow going while his body gradually healed.

"You must be exhausted." Eddie says softly, watching as Buck quietly removed his shoes and jacket.

Buck nods slightly, but he doesn't really say much. It's hard being vulnerable and it's hard admitting that he isn't as strong as usual, it's unnatural for Buck. At the same time, this is _Eddie_. This is the guy who sees more than those outward projections, this is the guy that gets to be close and gets to see Buck.

"Bucky?" Chris asked cheerfully, coming up behind Buck and tugging on the sleeve of his hoodie.

"Yeah, buddy?" Buck replied, trying to put on a smile for the kid.

"Will you colour with me?" Chris pleads, his hand grabbing Buck's.

"Oh man, I wish." Buck comes back mostly cheerfully, "I think I'd fall asleep in two seconds."

Chris seems to ponder that for a moment. "Sometimes, when I'm tired," He says matter-of-factly, "Daddy makes me have a nap. Maybe you have to have a nap."

"I think that's a good idea." Eddie's looking at them both with a little smile, switching his gaze to Buck a moment later. "What do you think, Buck?"

Buck nods, weary eyes meeting Eddie's and giving away more than he realized.

Eddie's smile softens and he approaches Buck, getting close enough that his soft words stay between them, "Come with me, I'll get you settled."

Buck will blindly follow Eddie anywhere, something he discovered not long after they'd pulled live ammo from someone's leg, and this happens to be no exception.

Eddie quickly gets Chris settled in front of a fresh episode of Paw Patrol and leads Buck down the hall.

"This is your bed." Buck says, raising an eyebrow as Eddie leads the man into his own room.

"Yeah, I gotta get the spare room set up before you can actually um—sleep there." Eddie replies sheepishly. "But you look like you're about to pass out, so I though you could sleep here for now."

"Eddie..."

"Unless you don't want to," Eddie replies, trying not to show the disappointment he feels toward himself. He should have known better, he thinks, he shouldn't have assumed that Buck'd be cool with this.

"I do want to. I really want to." Buck looks at the bed longingly. "But what if I don't wake up until morning. Then you won't have a place to sleep."

"Then I'll just sleep in the spare room." Eddie shrugs, like it's totally not a big deal.

"I'm not kicking you out of your room." Buck responds firmly, shaking his head.

"Buck, lay down." Eddie speaks softly, coming a little closer and letting his hands rest lightly on Buck's arms, before gently guiding him back and down. Buck lets himself be moved, lets Eddie pull his legs up onto the bed and drag the big fluffy comforter over him.

"Wake me up." Buck says, trying to convey how serious he was.

"I'll do no such thing." Eddie smiles, sitting on the edge of the mattress and reaching a hand up to ruffle Buck's hair.

"Then I'm not going to sleep." Buck whispered, giving Eddie a challenging stare, eyes half-lidded.

Eddie shrugs lightly, a small smile on his face, "I think you will."

Buck just gives him a look of feigned annoyance.

"But," Eddie looks over Buck's face, "I'll get you up for supper, if you want."

"I do want." Buck nods, finally letting his eyes slip closed and snuggling into the pillow that smelled just like Eddie's shampoo. Maybe he didn't want to be sleeping in the spare room, he thought to himself, enjoying a deep, comforting inhale.

"I'll see you then." Eddie gives Buck a gentle squeeze on his shoulder, but he's pretty sure he's already asleep.

 

True to Eddie's word, Buck is woken up when supper is ready. He doesn't really expect his wake up call to be Chris getting into bed and assaulting him with a tickle attack, but he can't say he's fully against it, not when Chris is giggling like that.

Eddie makes his way over to his bedroom when he hears the laughter, unable to resist seeing it for himself. He leans against the doorframe, overcome with that warm, fuzzy feeling as he sees his two favourite people in one room.

"Alright, boys, come on. Food's getting cold," Eddie says with a grin, almost reluctant to interrupt.

Chris eagerly makes his way to the kitchen without a needing to be told twice; a kid after his own heart, Buck thinks. 

Eddie grabs Buck's crutches from against the wall and brings them over to Buck, watching as the man hauls himself up.

"Feeling any better?" Eddie asks as they head in the direction of the food.

"I'll be okay." Buck nods, trying to hide the pain he feels in his leg.

 

After all the food has been eaten and the dishes cleaned, Eddie shows Buck to the spare room, which he'd completely cleaned up while Buck was asleep. The sheets are identical to the ones on Eddie's bed, and the room is a little smaller, but still feels quite spacious. Buck sits on the bed and lets his body relax as he looks around, taking in the surroundings.

"This is nice," He says after a few minutes.

Eddie's gaze skips over to Buck when he hears the words. He's immediately worried because the other man sounds choked up and emotional. "You okay?" He asks, concern quite evident.

"Yeah," Buck nods, willing himself not to cry because he'd already done it once today. "I'm fine."

Eddie nods after a moment and walks to the window. He peeks around the sheer curtain and looks out to the neighbourhood, hopefully giving Buck the moment he needs to regain his composure. 

Buck looks at him longingly, watches the way the golden rays of the sunset cascade over the side of his face and his shoulder. He takes note of the rippling muscles beneath the man's LAFD t-shirt; the way his steady gaze catches the far-off horizon. Buck catalogues everything he can, storing the beautiful picture away to revisit later.

"I don't know when you were planning to sleep," Eddie turns his head slightly to look at Buck, "But uh, I was thinking of popping a movie in once Chris goes to bed, if you want to join."

"I uh—" Buck pauses, looking down at his lap, "Thanks, but I should probably turn in now." 

There was a split-second flash of disappointment behind Eddie's eyes, but he quickly hides it. He knows how exhausted Buck is, he can tell just by looking him over, but part of him isn't quite ready to say goodnight. He nods nonetheless, giving Buck a reassuring smile and an understanding squeeze on his shoulder as he walks by. "Alright," He says, his voice light, "If you need anything, you know where to find me."

Buck nods in response, trying to ignore the tightening in his chest as the door shuts and he finds himself alone again. Rest quickly vies for top priority in Buck's life during the moments surrounding the solitary, so he collapses back into the mattress below him, sighing long and hard as he pleads for darkness to take him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hello, it's been a hot minute ~ here's a brand new, fresh from the farmers market, super cool update, I sincerely hope you all enjoy !!!? rock and roll <3

Hours later Eddie is still awake in his bed, hands laced behind his head as he lets his mind wander where it may. He knows he should already be asleep, but his body chooses not to give in. It's frustrating, but at least he doesn't have shift tomorrow, so he doesn't have to worry about showing up to the firehouse looking like a zombie.

It's about 2AM when he hears it, the subtle padding of the crutches on the hardwood floor in the hallway. He listens to the muffled noises as they disappear, then listens as the front door quietly squeaks open and closed. 

With a frown, Eddie gets up, not bothering to cover up his bare upper half as he steps out of his room. Worry has his feet moving before he even tells himself to walk; it's more than instinct—it's... it's something. Something that Eddie can't place. He doesn't stop himself as he heads to the front door, carefully turning the knob and slipping outside.

"Buck?" Eddie murmurs warmly, spotting the man sitting on the front of the porch, head cradled in his trembling hands. The air isn't that cold by any means, but it's a relief from the sun that had been beating down on LA not long ago.

Buck looks up, startled. "Did I wake you?"

Eddie shakes his head, closing the door behind him and hesitantly making his way to the other man. He sits beside Buck and can practically feel the man's tension effusing in waves. Now that he's closer, he notices Buck's entire body is shaking slightly—or maybe shivering—and his shirt is soaked through. It all leads Eddie to believe that he's had a horrible, horrible night so far, and Eddie can't help but blame himself. Maybe he should have done more—or maybe less.

"You wanna talk about it?" Eddie asks slowly, calmly, like he's afraid he's going to scare Buck.

"Nope." Buck replies instantly, shaking his head. He's staring blankly at the wooden step separating him and the driveway, planning to blissfully ignore Eddie's attempts to open him up; he knows he'll break if he lets Eddie in.

"Do you want to be alone?" Eddie inquires next, letting his knee gently knock against Buck's good one. He wants to stay with Buck, but he's no stranger to this kind of thing and he realizes that Buck might not want him here.

"I—" Buck pauses, shrugging his shoulders in an attempt to convey all the emotions that he can't find words for.

Eddie waits patiently through the following silence, but no words come. Minutes later, Buck leans over a little and slowly rests his head on Eddie's shoulder, letting out a shaky sigh.

Eddie takes that as an answer and in return, tentatively wraps an arm around Buck's back, pulling him that little bit closer. 

"It was so real." Buck eventually says, his voice low in an attempt to hide his unsteadiness. "It... I _felt_ it. I felt it all over again—" He trails off.

"What did you feel?" Eddie asks gently, nestling the side of his face against the top of Buck's head. He can't help but notice that Buck still smells like hospital and by all means, it's not a bad aroma, he smells clean and sterile—but maybe that's the problem. There's no familiarity and there's a certain lack of _Buckiness_ about it. The hospital, the surgery— it lingers, even through Buck's sweat-soaked shirt and the fact that those moments of intensity were behind him.

"I was pinned under the truck again." Buck begins slowly, "I felt the pain all over again, real pain. I tried to get out but—" Buck's voice cracks as his emotions succumb to the fear, "—but no one was there to help me."

"I'm sorry." Eddie speaks comfortingly, a hand sliding up and down Buck's side soothingly. "That must have been terrifying."

"It was a dream, I know it's stupid and dramatic." Buck replies quickly, not wanting Eddie to think less of him for being so vulnerable.

"It's not stupid at all." Eddie says with a serious expression and a firm handle on his words, "This is human, okay? You've experienced more trauma in one night than most people do in their whole lives, no one is gonna think you're lame for having a bad dream."

"I thought I was fine." Buck shakes his head, eyes staring off despondently. "I thought, 'I made it out of the hospital, clear sailing from here,' but now I'm scared of closing my eyes."

"Do you feel safe? Here? I mean, would things be better if you could sleep in your own bed?"

Buck doesn't have to think about that, "The first time I felt safe after the accident, was the second you showed up in my hospital room. It was the first time I could just relax and take a breath and feel like everything was gonna be okay, you know? I feel safe with you, I feel safe here—it's just my own head that's the problem."

Eddie smiles despite feeling the pain that flows through Buck's words. "Things are only gonna get better from here, Buck."

Buck nods and tells himself he should probably pull away and give Eddie his space back, but he's so warm and inviting that Buck just wants to linger forever.

"It's chilly out here." Eddie comments a little while later, when he's half-sure that Buck is asleep against him. Eddie isn't really that cold, he has warm sweats and a natural tendency to retain heat. Buck, however, is still damp and shivering and it's to the point where Eddie's worried he'll catch a cold.

"Yeah," Buck replies softly, eyes half-lidded.

"What do you say we get you inside and back to bed?" Eddie suggests, eyebrow raised as he studies Buck's sluggish movements.

"Inside, yeah. Bed, maybe not so much." Buck shrugs as he pulls himself to his feet, letting Eddie help him onto his crutches.

"Better idea." Eddie says, holding the front door open for Buck as he limps across the threshold. "Do you want to shower or something? Wash the last few days off?"

"I'd like that, but I don't really know how to shower with this on, just with the balance and not slipping and all that." Buck motions to his cast and looks to Eddie sceptically.

"I might just have a solution." Eddie replies with a smile, motioning for Buck to tag along as he starts walking down the hall.

"What's the solution exactly?" Buck asks in a whisper as they pass in front of Christopher's room. 

Eddie leads him past the first bathroom and heads into the master bathroom, set with a jacuzzi style bathtub and dim lights. "The solution is that you relax and let me take care of you." 

"Oh." Buck looks on as Eddie starts the faucet and sets the drain cover in place. 

"This isn't too weird is it?" Eddie asks suddenly, turning to Buck so fast he almost gives himself whiplash. "Am I overstepping?"

Buck shakes his head vigorously, "No this is—" He beams a little and ducks his head to hide the adorable excitement that seeps onto his face, "—this is nice. Really nice."

Eddie smiles as he feels a physical manifestation of relief jet through his lower abdomen. "Just tell me to get lost any time, I won't take it personally."

Buck nods but they both know that Eddie isn't going anywhere. 

Eddie pours some sort of bath soap into the water but Buck can't be bothered to see what it is, he just settles his crutches against the wall and tries to peel off his t-shirt. When he gets it stuck over his head, Eddie ends up assisting him, pulling away the damp fabric.

Buck does his best to pull down his sweatpants on his own, while Eddie blushes and turns toward the opposite side of the room to give the man his privacy.

"Uh, Eddie?" Buck speaks after a long minute has passed. He's in his boxers, sitting on the edge of the tub, eyes stuck on his cast.

"Yeah?" Eddie peeks over his shoulder.

"I don't think we thought this through. I'm not supposed to get this wet." He motions to the cast with a disheartened expression.

"The nurse handed me a bunch of waterproof sleeves for your cast before we left the hospital." Eddie says, raising an eyebrow.

Buck looks up at Eddie bashfully, "Oh, that'll—that'll work."

Eddie smiles innocuously, "I think I put them in the other bathroom, I'll go get one."

Buck nods hesitantly, unable to help the small grin that adorns his tired face.

Figuring out how to get the damn sleeve on quickly turns into a two person job, but they quickly manage to figure it out and Buck's leg is soon waterproof.

Getting Buck _in_ the tub, turns out to be an entirely different matter of its own. There was some laughing, soft curses, and water all over the floor (and Eddie) before they got him settled, but the effort was quickly rewarded. Buck sank into the water with a deep groan and let out a sigh of pleasure as he felt the tension and pain begin to ebb away.

"I guess I'll uh—" Eddie blushes a little, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand and motioning to the door with his other.

"You going to sleep?"

"Well, no—" Eddie shakes his head, "—I was just gonna wait in my room 'til you're done, then I'll help you out. If you want."

"Or, you know, you could hang out here." Buck suggests tentatively, a soft hope attached to the words. 

Eddie cracks a little smile and pulls himself up onto the counter beside the sink, letting his legs dangle over the edge of the surface. It's relaxed and it's quiet and Eddie feels slightly guilty for enjoying the scene before him. Yeah, the water is helping Buck unwind and he's getting some colour back in his face, but Eddie doesn't forget what got him here.

Buck's quiet exhale of relief is the only sound in the room as the bathwater settles. "Hope I'm not already making you regret letting me stay in your place." He speaks softly, eyes darting to the water. "I'm sure you'd rather be asleep right about now."

"I'm glad you're here." Eddie replies after a split-second, a grin on his face. "Even if that means being awake at this ungodly hour."

Buck can only hum a soft agreement, to which a comfortable silence follows. It's really only a couple of minutes into the quietness when Buck gives up trying to keep his eyes open. He's finally feeling so relaxed and content, and it's hard to fight all those feelings.

"Hey... Don't fall asleep in there." Eddie murmurs softly, watching as Buck's head starts to fall to the side.

Buck jerks awake and his eyes shoot wide open for a moment as he gathers his disoriented mind. "—'m tired." Buck mumbles barely audibly, managing to point his half-lidded eyes over toward Eddie.

Eddie looks at him sympathetically, "Maybe you should get out and into bed then."

"Didn't even wash my hair." Buck shakes his head, "Didn't even..." He trailed off, finding himself slipping back into a half-doze but quickly pulling himself up to sit a little straighter.

Eddie slides off the counter and is kneeling in front of the bathtub only a few seconds later. "Can I help?"

"Help?" Buck isn't even trying to mask the fact that he can barely hold his head up.

Eddie nods, "I can wash your hair—if you want." He speaks warmly, a fond expression crossing onto his features.

Buck seems hesitant, but nods nonetheless because he likes the idea. He likes it more than he'd ever probably admit, but he's suddenly feeling a little self conscious. 

He's quickly put at ease when Eddie flashes him a smile and squeezes some shampoo into his hands. Eddie washing his hair, strong fingers massaging his scalp and thick foam sliding around his head, definitely has no right to feel as good as it does. It's a little slice of heaven and really, Buck can't help but wish he was a little more clearheaded; he's wishing he could embed the image into mind forever, bookmark every touch and every careful movement. As it is, his eyes keep falling closed and his head keeps tipping into Eddie's strong arms.

Buck's almost asleep by the time Eddie finishes rinsing his hair. He's exhausted and he's bone tired, but the bath makes him feel a little more human and for that, he's grateful.

Eddie turns to give him some privacy as he emerges from the water, fighting the urge to support him as he dries off and dresses into the clothes Eddie brought him. There's a part of Eddie that wants to go all the way—help him to his room and wrap him up like a burrito—but he knows he can't. He's probably stepped passed the place where he should have drawn the line, but Eddie cares fast and he cares hard, it's how he's always been.

Buck stumbles as he tries to walk toward the crutches that lean against the wall, and Eddie catches him in his arms. The fall to the floor is anything but graceful, but the moments that follow are nothing short of beautiful. Their bare chests gravitate to each other with a heavy pull, and the skin on skin begs to add to the tension that quickly gathers in the air between them. Eddie runs on instinct, the way he slides warm hands around Buck's battered body, circling him in an unprecedented embrace. 

It's easy, for Buck, to know what he wants. It's easy to get lost in Eddie's eyes and even easier to run a hand into Eddie's messy hair. He knows he should get off of Eddie and walk away, but he can't bring himself to move, not when this is the only place he wants to be.

"You okay?" Eddie asks, eyes vigorously searching Buck's.

Buck nods, lips slightly parted as he looks over Eddie. "Are _you_ okay? You didn't hit your head or anything did you?"

"I'm fine," Eddie replies breathlessly. "I uh—"

A silence creeps up behind Eddie and covers the space between them. Neither are moving, but then again Buck is on top, trapping Eddie in with a hundred-seventy pounds of protein and carbs, so the ball is in Buck's court. That's Eddie's conclusion, anyway.

Buck's head isn't functioning at full capacity, but that isn't new, not when Eddie is involved. Reality is banging on the inside of his skull, demanding he makes some quick joke and get out of the situation. But it feels serious. Buck's fully awake now. He's awake and he's seeing Eddie and it feels serious.

"Eddie." Buck's voice is soft, maybe a little unsteady, definitely fuelled with emotion.

It's raw and it catches them both off guard. 

"Buck." Eddie returns, reaching a hand up to brush against the sharp angle of Buck's jaw and the stubble that grows along it.

Buck nods. He nods and carefully pulls his hand away from Eddie's head. "It's late."

"Yeah." Eddie murmurs, watching as Buck rolls off of him with a grimace. 

"I should head to bed." Buck adds quietly, only a few seconds later.

"I should too."

"Yeah." Buck replies, carefully getting to his feet and limping toward his crutches a second time. "Sorry again for uh, for keeping you up and for needing help and—"

"Buck," Eddie quickly interrupts, "When I told you I'd be with you through everything, I meant it."

Buck ducks his head, looking up at Eddie timidly. "I'm not used to relying on people."

"I know." Eddie nods and can't help but fix his gaze onto Buck and how perfect he looks right now. "C'mon, let's get you to bed."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a (1) hot minute since I've updated, but do not fret, I'm here to serve you this fresh chapter! Life has single handedly ripped a hellish black hole of despair throughout the many plains of my existence, but I finally got the chance to sit down and write this bad boi and I'm really feeling it. Buck is more broken than ever and Eddie is being everything that he needs + more ~ bless their hearts. I hope you all get some enjoyment out of this! I love each and every one of you sweet sweet angels! <3

Buck's exhaustion is palpable as he leaves Eddie and heads back to the spare room, but despite that, Buck doesn't sleep. He feels like he's never been more awake than right now and wonders where this energy had been during some of those longer shifts at the station. He's at least relaxed from the bath and that's making the slowly passing hours of insomnia slightly bearable, but he desperately wants a break from consciousness. 

In the room next door, Eddie is also awake. He's laying under the covers, eyes closed, listening as Buck shifts around in the squeaky mattress for the umpteenth time. The sound itself doesn't bother him, he feels more concerned than anything as he listens to Buck helplessly toss and turn. An exponentially large part of him wants to check in on his best friend, but he doesn't want to annoy him or get in his way, so he reluctantly remains splayed across his own bed.

The sun starts peeking over the horizon long before it feels like it should be morning. Eddie gets up with a long sigh and a big stretch. At this point, he knows he won't sleep either and there isn't much point in trying, not when he'll have to wake Christopher up soon anyway. 

He's just started ladling the pancake batter into the pan when he hears a set of crutches padding up behind him. Buck wordlessly stops by the coffee machine, his eyes loosely trained on the small trickle of hot liquid that's making its way into the glass carafe.

Eddie smiles sympathetically and gets two mugs out. He doesn't even wait until the coffee has completed brewing before he pours, it'll be stronger this way and he knows they both need an extra boost today.

Chris joins them while they're halfway finished of their caffeinated monstrosities. He's bouncing off the walls with excitement because he gets to watch cartoons with Buck before school and apparently that's just the best thing ever.

Eddie somehow ends up running behind and they nearly end up being late out the door. Eddie just isn't on the ball and it's clearly evident, but he manages to get Chris to school and he returns with tired eyes and a smile on his face nonetheless. As he walks through the front door, he finds himself immediately trying to locate Buck. While they'd been eating breakfast, Buck had barely been holding his head up at the table, so Eddie can only imagine he's sleeping now. 

He heads to the kitchen under that presumption, he needs to clean up the war zone of dirty pots and pans that he'd created while rushing to get some nutrition into his boy and make it out the door. When he turns the corner and walks into the kitchen, he's surprised to find it spotless and shining. The dishwasher hums softly as it runs its cycle while Buck sits by the table, sipping on a second coffee.

"You didn't have to do that." Eddie says, looking around in appreciation.

"I had to do something." Buck looks up at Eddie. "I couldn't sit still."

"Fair enough." Eddie nods, grabbing a mug from the cupboard closest to him and heading towards the coffeemaker.

"Plans for today?" Buck asks in an attempt to make small talk.

"None." Eddie shakes his head, "You?"

Buck just laughs softly, "What do _you_ think?"

"I guess you're a little limited on options, huh?" Eddie replies, sending an encouraging smile as he pours steaming coffee from the coffeepot into his mug.

"You could say that." Buck nods just slightly, "I dunno, might try to sleep."

"Good idea. Not like you got much last night." Eddie points out, sympathetic smile on his face.

Buck's head snaps toward Eddie as he sits down in the chair opposite him. "How um—" He ducks his head as quickly as he'd moved it the first time, "—how'd you know?"

"I heard you tossing."

Buck nods slowly, "Shit. I'm sorry I didn't mean—"

"I was awake anyway." Eddie says, quickly noting Buck's scepticism. "Really. Don't worry about it."

Buck sighs, nodding listlessly. "I'm still sorry."

"It didn't bother me at all." Eddie smiles warmly. "Was kind of comforting to know you were still alive over there." He admits in a softer voice, just moments later.

The sentiment cheers Buck a little, but not enough to remove the perpetually disheartened expression on his face. "I think I'm gonna head to bed... If that's um, cool." He replies a few seconds later. He doesn't say more because he  _knows_ he's an emotional train wreck that could go off the rails at any moment and he _really_ feels like not having a breakdown.

"Okay, if you need anything, just let me know." Eddie says, watching as Buck gets to his feet with a grimace.

"Yep." Buck nods, wearily padding out of the room.

 

Eddie expects to spend the rest of the day alone. It's what he expects.

What he doesn't _expect_ , is to hear Buck tossing and turning, stifling pained groans and annoyed grunts. What he doesn't _expect_ , is to hear Buck get up only hour after he'd went to bed, and limp out of his room, sans-crutches. And what he further, does not _expect,_  is a bleary-eyed Buck to lay down on the couch, his head only inches away from Eddie's lap.

Eddie expects none of it, but he's ready to support all of it. 

"Still can't sleep?" Eddie asks, his heart splitting in two as his eyes trace over Buck's downcast features.

Buck shakes his head, attempting to force a smile. "What are we watching?" 

"We can watch whatever you want."

"You're already watching something." Buck murmurs, a soft yawn escaping his lips.

Eddie looks up at the TV, briefly scanning the screen to see what was playing. He'd been concentrating so hard on listening to Buck that he hadn't even payed attention to what was on. "I'm not attached."

"Okay." Buck replies quietly.

"Any ideas?"

"I'm up for anything that doesn't involve me picking."

"Deal. I'll throw a movie on. Sit tight." Eddie smiles, reaching to the remote to put Netflix on.

"As if I'm going anywhere." Buck throws a mildly amused look to Eddie.

Eddie can't help but smile a little because even like this—even when Buck's drained and sad and in pain, even like this—he's beautiful. 

Ten minutes into the movie Buck starts getting restless. It starts as repositioning his leg a little and gradually transitions into shifting and readjusting his whole body. It's clear he's frustrated and it's not hard to imagine why, not for Eddie. 

Buck soon sits up and looks like he's about to leave; his legs are sprawled forward and his head is resting in his hands. He's worked up and he's tired and nothing feels right to him. It's like he's stuck in some kind of hellish twilight zone with no way to get home.

"Evan." Eddie murmurs softly.

Buck's head snaps up, revealing slightly glazed eyes and a surprised expression.

"C'mere." Eddies says warmly, readjusting in his seat before tentatively reaching out to him.

Buck doesn't hesitate, he doesn't overthink and he doesn't question it. He lies back down, lets Eddie guide him until his head is fully in Eddie's lap. Buck's on his side, facing the TV so he tries to focus on that. He's breathing heavy, like he's trying not to cry, and he's successful for the most part but some fragment of him is actively breaking and he doesn't know if he can hold it together.

Eddie's brushing a hand through Buck's hair, lightly massaging his scalp and twirling the blond locks between his fingers. It's all he can think to do, it's hard to know what Buck needs him to be right now and he doesn't want to screw it up. 

A few moments after the thought leaves his mind, and he might be imagining it, but Eddie is pretty sure Buck relaxes into him a little. 

Eventually the emotions and the nerves that linger in every part of Buck's consciousness seem to fade into a dull throb. His breaths now match Eddie's whether consciously or not, and soon, about halfway the movie, Buck finds himself close to sleep. He's fighting to keep his eyes open and as adorable as it is, Eddie hopes he falls asleep.

"Close your eyes." Eddie whispers, his hand still carding through Buck's messy hair.

Buck does as he's told and finally lets his eyes fall shut. He's just about to doze into oblivion when he manages to find the energy to locate Eddie's free hand and intertwine their fingers.

Eddie smiles, Buck sleeps.

 

There's a certain appeal to falling asleep on the couch in front of a good movie, but as he tries to stretch out the kinks in his neck, Buck can't remember what that appeal is all about. 

He's initially startled when he realizes he's still in Eddie's lap, but then there are fingers running through his hair again and everything starts to make sense.

"Hey, sleepyhead." Eddie smiles down at him.

Buck rolls from his side to his back, his head still in Eddie's lap. He looks up at the other man with a soft expression, trying to gauge Eddie's feelings about the situation. "Hey."

"Feeling any better?"

Buck nods softly, "Little bit."

"I'm glad," Eddie smiles, "You hungry yet?"

"How long've I been asleep?" Buck asks, raising an eyebrow sceptically.

Eddie seems to think for a moment, "About five hours."

Buck studies Eddie carefully but can't seem to detect a lie. "That long?"

"Yeah," Eddie nods, tracing Buck's jawline and the increasingly long stubble that was growing there, "You were tired."

"Still am."

"Sleep some more." Eddie smiles warmly, unable to keep his eyes off of Buck.

"When do you need to get Christopher?" 

Eddie looks at his watch. "Soon. You probably have time for a thirty minute power nap before I need to get ready to go."

"Mm." Buck replies in a soft tone, "Tempting, but nah."

Eddie nods softly. "I could barely get Chris to go to school this morning, all he wanted to do was stay here and hang out with you. So fair warning, he'll probably have some big plans for you. You might just want that extra rest, Buck." He teases softly.

"You'll have to let him in on how boring of a time you had with me today," Buck suggests with a half-disdainful, half-humorous smile. "Hanging out with me isn't all it's cracked up to be, these days."

"I enjoyed it." Eddie shrugs, eyes carefully connecting with Buck. He wonders if he's giving anything away.

"You enjoyed me falling asleep on you?" Buck asks sceptically.

"Whatever," Eddie replies, trying to bury his slight embarrassment by hooking his eyes on the TV that continues to quietly warble in the background.

Buck's expression shifts into one of curiosity, but he doesn't say anything. He doesn't want to ruin the moment and he certainly doesn't want Eddie to remove his hand from where it's carefully spread over his chest.

 

A while later, when Eddie reluctantly wakes Buck from a half doze, announcing that he's gotta leave to pick up Christopher, it's bittersweet. On the one hand, he's ecstatic to see his son and hear all about his no doubt exciting day, but on the other, it means he's gotta leave Buck all alone here without anyone to watch over him.

Buck's groggy as he sits up, wincing slightly as he jostles all his bruises and scrapes.

"You can come if you want." Eddie suggest as he gets to his feet, stretching out his legs and trying to get the feeling back in his limbs.

Buck shakes his head slowly, "I think I... I just, I think I'm gonna have to sit this one out."

"Oh. Yeah. Yeah, of course—" Eddie rambles out, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Yeah, it's just my dumb leg. I just, I don't even know if I can even make it off the couch right now, let alone get to the car." Buck laughs dryly, instinctively toying with the top edge of his bulky cast. He's looking up at Eddie with pained eyes and an entirely broken expression, and it makes Eddie freeze. 

He knows he's gotta get moving, he's gotta get in the car and get Christopher, and there's no doubt about it. But he's still momentarily freezing, staring at Buck wordlessly, feet planted on the ground in front of the man. "Maybe I should stay, I can call someone to pick Christopher up and—"

"No," Buck shakes his head with insistence, "No, Chris needs you."

"Are you saying that you don't?" Eddie asks, teasing smile appearing on his face despite the flips his stomach is making.

"I need you more than you know." Buck says without hesitation. It seems as if he's surprised himself by his own statement, but he makes no move to take it back.

They're the words Eddie never knew he wanted to hear. There's a part of him that immediately runs away with the hope that the confession gives him, it's filling his head with all the possibilities. He wants to know how far this _need_ goes, how far he's allowed to care. 

Eddie opens and closes his mouth a few times, like he wants to respond but isn't sure how. His brain is taking too long to process and he can see the disheartenment in Buck's eyes as the gears turn. "I need you too, Evan." He says as soon as he can formulate the words, "I—you get that? I need you too."

Buck reads deeper into Eddie's words, which really isn't hard to do now that they both have their guards down. He knows—or at least he's pretty sure—that Eddie isn't saying this out of obligation. The look he's sending Buck reveals nothing but honesty and a constrained hopefulness, like he isn't sure if Buck had been kidding or not.

"Okay." Buck nods, a soft smile slipping onto his face.

"I need to go," Eddie starts, like he can't bear to leave. (And he can't.) "You sure you're gonna be okay here on your own?"

Buck grins because Eddie's getting flustered over _him_ , (him!!) and that may just be his favourite thing ever, "I'm gonna be just fine, Eddie. Get outta here." 

"Okay," Eddie nods, roughing up Buck's already monstrous hair, "Don't hurt yourself, or else." He throws over his shoulder, returning Buck's smile.

"What? You gonna break my other leg?" Buck responds with a laugh, his voice louder so it can carry to the front door.

"I might," Eddie chuckles, pulling on his jacket, despite the warm weather. "At least you'd be forced to sit still for once."

"Sit still? I'd be doing time trials with my wheelchair." Buck corrects quickly, no hint of a lie behind his words.

He looks at Buck affectionately, shaking his head incredulously. "I don't doubt it. I'll be back soon. Text me if you need me."

"Yep!" Buck calls back, "Drive safe."

 

Eddie shouldn't be surprised when his phone buzzes before he's even halfway to his vehicle. He yanks it out of his pocket, wondering if it's the school or someone from work. He quickly discovers it's a text from none other than Buck.

_I need you_

He's about to double back and go see what's going on, because that's what his heart immediately instructs him to do. But then a second text quickly follows.

_to get the three of us ice cream on your way home, my wallet is in your glovebox, it's on me :)_

Evan Buckley is going to be the end of him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm once again here with another sweet update for all you cool homies out there ~ just want to say thank you again for all the continued support as I upload what can only be described as a literary train wreck, you are all so sweet and I treasure you !!!1 literally cannot say thank you enough !! <3

Eddie brings home Chris and ice cream.

Buck sprawled face first on the couch, half asleep, so Eddie kneels in front of him. He holds two slightly dripping ice cream cones toward Buck and smiles. "Vanilla or chocolate? I'll have whichever you don't want." He says softly.

As he's presented with the two delicious options, Buck grins. He's really, honestly ear-to-ear smiling. It's like he's one hundred percent Buck again. Like he's not in pain and nothing bad has happened to him. 

Then Buck carefully tries to maneuver himself into a sitting position and a guarded look (the kind that Eddie's become quite familiar with over the last few days) slides back onto his face. Eddie can tell that Buck's in pain and he can also tell that he's trying not to show it; it's like he's trying to put up a wall to shield himself (or maybe it's to protect Eddie, he isn't quite sure). But through the cracks, Eddie sees the agony and helplessly watches the tired nerves spark with shocks of pain.

Seeing the flash of pure happy before the pain is something that Eddie holds onto. It comforts him a little. It reminds him that Eddie still has Buck, he still has his Buck. Even if he's in pain and doesn't have the energy to smile, Buck is still Buck and he's alive. He's _alive_ soEddie isn't complaining any time soon.

"Chocolate?" Eddie offers, putting both cones in one hand and helping Buck move with the other.

"Yeah." Buck makes an attempt to smile, but it's got sad undertones and it splits Eddie's heart.

Eddie waits patiently as Buck finally gets himself settled before carefully passing the chocolate cone to him. Buck smiles appreciatively and Eddie returns the smile, looking up from Buck as Chris makes his way into the room.

"You finish washing your hands?" Eddie asks warmly, already looking at his hands and arms to see if all the ice cream had been cleaned up.

"Yes." Chris nods as he makes his way toward the two men. "Bucky!"

"Hey, buddy!" Buck grins softly, "How was your day?"

"Good. I got an A on my spelling today!"

"Wow, that's impressive!" 

"Thanks!" Chris climbs onto his lap, enveloping him in a bear hug. It's hard for Buck not to wince at the shocks of pain that surge through his sore body, but the discomfort is secondary to how much he loves Chris. He hugs Chris back despite the fact that he's pressing against his tender ribs and nudging his still-healing injuries, because this is totally worth every second of  it. He loves this. He absolutely adores it when Chris hugs him, he loves the small arms that tangle around his neck and he loves it when Chris relaxes against him and tucks his head against his chest.

"Oh, careful, Chris—" Eddie says worriedly, ready to intercede, but Buck quickly shakes his head, a smile on his face.

"What, daddy?" Chris asks, making no move to pull away.

"Nothing." Eddie smiles, raising an eyebrow. "Just be careful with Buck. He's still a little bit broken."

"I am." He nods against Buck's chest.

"And your crutches are on the floor, better stand them up so no one trips over them, remember?" 

"Okay." Chris nods, gingerly pulling away from Buck and getting off the couch. He uses the coffee table to steady himself as he bends down to pick up the stainless steel crutches and places them against the wall, right beside Buck's own crutches.

"Good job." Eddie says with a warm smile and a heart that's beating out of control. "You wanna watch TV with Buck and I'll get some supper going?"

Chris nods with a grin as Eddie picks him up and kisses him on his forehead. He sets Chris down on the cushion next to Buck, watching as his little body shuffles as close to the man as he can get. Buck grins and ruffles his curls fondly before wrapping his arm around the kid and getting back to his ice cream.

Eddie walks out before he has an aneurism from the adorableness.

He scouts out the fridge to see what he has ingredients for and sets to work on cooking. He can't help but smile like an idiot the entire time he's working in the kitchen. He occasionally hears Buck and Chris let out giggles as they watch Chris' favourite cartoon and it lights up his entire world, just knowing he has the two most perfect people in the world sitting in his living room.

He goes back out to the living room halfway through cooking to see if the boys want something to drink, and finds the two snuggled even closer than before, huge smiles on their faces as they remain engrossed in the show.

"Chris?" Eddie asks with a smile, causing his sweet boy to look up at him. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Apple juice, please!" He grins toothily. 

"You got it, buddy." Eddie nods, watching as Christopher's attention shifts back to the TV. "Anything for you, Buck?"

"Uh, same as Chris. If that's okay." He smiles up at Eddie too. 

"Of course. You want some pain meds with that?" Eddie asks curiously.

Buck shakes his head, "No."

"Can I ask why? I mean, the doctor gave them to you for a reason."

"They make me feel foggy."

"And foggy is bad compared to being in pain?" Eddie inquires.

"Eddie." Buck looks up at the man knowingly.

Eddie nods thoughtfully. "Alright. If you change your mind..."

"I'll let you know." Buck assures him.

Eddie's about to leave, but Buck's voice stops him, "Um, Eddie?"

"Yeah?" He says softly.

Buck looks at his leg then back to Eddie, "Can you give me a hand?" He says tentatively, looking a little embarrassed that he's asking. "I was gonna just put my leg up, but I uh..."

Eddie just nods reassuringly, setting a pillow on the coffee table and carefully assisting Buck as he raises his leg. It's with a muffled gasp and a slightly paler face on Buck's behalf that they manage to get Buck's leg up onto the table.

"Thanks." Buck says in a somewhat strained voice.

"Buck are you sure you don't want—"

"No meds." He shakes his head, taking in a shaky breath.

"Alright." Eddie nods, concerned.

 

Eddie brings the two of them some juice, then stretches out his hand. Buck sees the pill that Eddie's offering and he's immediately confused. "Eddie, I said—"

"I know. I, um—it's just a Tylenol. Might take the edge off." Eddie says quickly, suddenly a little nervous that he's done the wrong thing. "You can say no, I just thought—"

Buck stares at Eddie long and hard for a moment, but he does take the pill and swallow it down with a gulp of juice. "Thanks." He says softly, a hesitant smile on his face.

Eddie nods sheepishly, going back to the kitchen before Buck sees him blush.

 

Eddie brings supper to the boys since he doesn't want Buck to jostle himself more than necessary by getting up. It's a treat, since him and Chris usually sit by the table to eat. 

Eddie is about to sit in the chair perpendicular to the couch, but Buck catches his sleeve before he manages to start the descent into the seat. He pulls Eddie into the spot between himself and the arm of the couch. It's definitely a tight squeeze but Eddie can't complain. Every square inch of where their bodies touch is absolutely on fire (and it's a lot of contact, they're touching from their shoulders down to their thigh).

Buck lets out a content sigh, closing his eyes slightly into the touch. They eat in silence, watch their cartoons and Eddie eventually leaves to put the dishes away, but he quickly returns and is pulled back into the spot beside Buck. This time, Buck settles down the couch a little and rests his head against Eddie's shoulder. 

Eddie just grins and eases an arm over the top of the couch, resting his hand on Buck's head and gently running his fingers through his hair. Chris moves too, shifting so that he's curled up on the cushion with his head resting on Buck's good leg.

It's so sweet and Eddie would love to get a picture if it didn't mean separating himself from Buck. For now, he's content to have Buck resting against him, close enough that he can feel the rise and fall of his chest and be assured that he's okay.

 

An hour later, Buck is struggling to keep his eyes open and Christopher is already gone to sleep and as much as Eddie doesn't want to ruin the moment, he needs to take care of his son and his best friend.

He reluctantly slips out from under Buck, who gravitates to the warm spot he's just left. He carefully wraps his strong arms around Chris, cradling him just like he did when he was a baby. Eddie smiles when Chris snuggles into his chest and can't take his eyes off his son as he takes him to his bedroom. 

He gingerly pulls back the blankets on the twin sized bed and places his Chris on the mattress, watching fondly he curls up against his favourite plush dinosaur. 

"Love you." He says in a soft whisper, leaning down and pressing a kiss on Christopher's cheek.

Chris is too far into dreamland to reply, but he does sigh contentedly when the blankets get pulled over him.

When Eddie returns to the couch, it's with a grin on his face and a spring in his step.

"He stay asleep?" Buck asks in a quiet, sleepy voice, looking up at Eddie with a little smile.

"Yeah." Eddie says, making no move to sit. "He usually does if I carry him."

Buck nods and yawns into the back of his hand. "That's good," He replies.

Eddie smiles in response, his head tilting slightly as he takes in the sight of half gone Buck, "You should get to bed soon too." 

"I dunno, I'm um—" Buck blinks a few times before rubbing his eyes, obviously in thought. "I'm not tired."

Eddie sits on the coffee table and smiles sympathetically. "Not tired?" He says, watching as Buck makes an admirable attempt to keep his eyelids from closing.

Buck doesn't want to admit he doesn't want to be alone, and he certainly doesn't want to admit that he's terrified of going to sleep. 

"Would watching TV for a while longer help?" Eddie smiles encouragingly.

"Yeah." Buck nods, carefully moving over to give Eddie room to sit beside him.

 

They're _both_ asleep in a matter of moments.

Eddie wakes with a start about an hour later. Considering that they were half in each other's laps, he's surprised that his jerky movements don't wake Buck. He peels himself away from Buck as quietly as he can before debating on what to do with the other man. He'd attempt to carry the guy to bed, but he wasn't sure how he would feel about that, especially considering his reservations of going to bed in the first place.

He settles for carefully waking sleepy Buck in favour of letting the man suffer inevitable neck and back strain from sleeping on the couch.

"Buck?" He starts quiet, crouching in front of Buck to get on his level.

Buck doesn't move, but he does sigh deeply.

"Wake up, Buck." Eddie smiles when he sees his eyelids flutter.

"Mornin' yet?" Buck slurs, barely audibly.

"Not yet." Eddie shakes his head, "C'mon. Bed. I'll give you a hand."

Buck's mind is only half-on at this point and he has no intention of fully waking up yet, so he just lets himself be taken care of. He's being guided by strong arms and led down the hall into the spare room. Throughout the journey, Buck has his fair share of exhausted stumbling and sharp jolts of pain, but eventually, Eddie gets Buck onto the mattress. After he tucks the blankets around the man, he can't resist placing a soft kiss on the top of Buck's head.

"Goodnight." Eddie whispers, pretty sure that Buck is already too far gone to respond.

"Nigh', Eddie." Buck murmurs, sighing softly as he lets sleep crowd him. 

 

Knowing that Buck is asleep, Eddie finds it easier for himself to drift off too. He thinks (or at least he wants to believe) that he can hear Buck's soft snores all the way from his own bed.

They both should've known it was too good to be true.

 

Buck is stuck once again. He's stuck in an endless repetition of firetrucks slamming onto him, crushing his leg, over and over and _over_. He's in the middle of a desert and it's _so_ hot; he's screaming at the pain but there isn't anyone around to hear him. As soon as the truck on top of his leg dematerializes, he can see another truck rolling down a hill and he can't move as it comes. He has to helplessly watch and try to prepare himself for the pain, he has to _watch_ , knowing that he can't do anything to stop it.

"Evan?" Eddie bursts into Buck's room, worry in his eyes as his gaze lands on Buck.

In his thrashing, in his attempt to get _out from beneath the firetruck_ , Buck's fallen off the bed with a none too graceful thud.

He's knocked the wind out of himself and he's struggling to breathe. His lungs are trying, they're reaching for any oxygen they can get, but he can't _breathe_.

"Slow down." Eddie kneels down next to Buck and looks him over. He's on his stomach and he's shaking quite noticeably. His fists are clenched tightly and pulled up to the sides of his head as he lets out shallow wheezes. 

"Just breathe, Buck." Eddie says softly, rubbing a hand up and down Buck's spine. "C'mon, let's get you back in bed."

Buck just shakes his head, pressing his forehead into the hardwood floor. "I can't take this." He says between shallow breaths.

"Can't take what?" Eddie asks with a frown.

Buck just shakes his head and closes his eyes. 

"You can tell me." Eddie offers, his hand still trailing across Buck's back.

Buck shakes his head once again but this time he makes a move to sit up. He's too—maybe broken isn't the word, but it's something along the lines. Vulnerable, maybe—he's too vulnerable to bother with protecting his otherwise carefully guarded walls.

A soft gasp of pain escapes his lips as he maneuvers himself. He shuffles until he has his back against the side of the bed, a task that seems infinitely harder in this moment. His eyes crinkle up as he tries to cope with the washes of pain—both the physical and mental. His hand instinctually goes out and grabs onto Eddie's forearm as a short-lived wave of nausea passes over him. 

Eddie brushes Buck's hair back with his free hand, taking note of how overheated and damp he is.

As Eddie's touches always do, Buck finds himself being grounded into reality and slowly, the nightmares slip away from his immediate consciousness. He's safe, he's with Eddie, and he's slowly realizing that he's not under the weight of any sort of municipal equipment, though his chest still feels like it.

Buck's breathing evens out after just a few minutes and he finally becomes fully conscious of the situation before him. "I'm sorry for waking you up again."

Eddie shakes his head, unable to hide the worry from his features as he meets Buck's eyes. "Never be sorry for that."

Buck sighs and shuts his eyes as he rests his head on the mattress behind him. "You don't um, have to stay here."

"Do you _want_ me to stay?" Eddie asks, his voice so sincere and warm that Buck can't help but seek out his gaze.

Buck seems to think. "Do I want you to stay? Yes. But am I gonna let you stay here and miss out on another night of sleep? No."

"I'm staying." Eddie says with a determined nod.

Buck shakes his head tiredly, "No, Eds, you gotta go, okay?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Are you really gonna make me drag you to your room?" Buck asks challengingly, raising an eyebrow.

"I imagine that'd be a painful stunt for you to pull right now."

"It would be. I'd be in a lot of unnecessary pain." Buck replies matter of factly.

"Hold up. You're threatening me with your own welfare?" Eddie says in surprise.

Buck just shrugs softly, a semblance of a smile teasing his lips, "Is it working?"

Eddie chuckles quietly and shakes his head, "Not really."

"How am I supposed to get you to go then? You gonna make me start begging?" Buck raises an eyebrow.

"Why do you want me to go so bad?" Eddie shakes his head.

"Listen, I just don't want to be the reason you're awake in the middle of the night, cause then you'll start to resent me and I'll have to go back to living in that stupid apartment that I can't even _sleep_ in and—" Buck sighs, shaking his head, "I'm sorry I just, I can't screw this up, I can't—"

"Buck, shut up." Eddie smiles reassuringly, "I could never resent you. That's the only reason?"

"That and my ever shattering dignity as this stupid accident continues to take away every ounce of manly appeal I had left." Buck shrugs listlessly, a forced smile on his face letting Eddie know that the sentiment isn't just satire.

"You're still very manly," Eddie responds fondly.

Buck laughs a little at that, "Thanks."

Eddie grins, "Need a hand up?"

Buck gives him a look of confusion, watching as Eddie stands.

"Figured sitting in bed is better than the hardwood floors." Eddie suggests gently.

Buck nods apprehensively, letting Eddie help him up and onto the mattress. "That mean you're going—?"

After he wraps the blankets around Buck, Eddie shoots him a smile and lays down on the empty side of the bed. "Not leaving." He says, lacing his hands together over his abdomen and closing his eyes.

Buck's relief is so immense that Eddie can practically feel it. 

"Do you want to you talk about the, uh... I can only assume you were having a nightmare...?" Eddie begins slowly.

"Is it okay if right now we just—" Buck begins, sliding down the bed a little so his head is on his pillow. He turns onto his side, facing Eddie. "—if we just pretend everything is normal, and okay, and fine? Is that... Is that—?"

Eddie's eyes open and he turns to face the other man. He instinctually reaches out and grips Buck's slightly trembling hand inside his own, "Yeah, of course." 

"Can we, um—are you gonna stay?" Buck asks timidly, a slight blushing dusting his cheeks. "I mean, stay for the night, here? In this bed?"

Eddie appears to think for a moment, "If it's okay, then yeah."

"It's only okay if you promise to go to sleep."

A smile makes its way onto Eddie's face, "I'll sleep if _you_  sleep."

Buck shakes his head, "I don't think I'm ever sleeping again." 

"You have to." Eddie says softly, running his thumb along the back of Buck's hand,

Buck sighs defeated, "Make me."

"Okay." Eddie grins and gets up briefly to get under the covers. There's about a foot of space separating them, but Buck can still feel the heat that's coming off Eddie's body. "C'mere." Eddie says, stretching an arm out toward Buck.

Buck is obviously momentarily surprised by the invitation, but he's moving toward Eddie a split second later. Eddie guides his head to his chest and moves so their bodies are flush against each other. Buck is tense and he knows it, but this feels too good to be true and he can't let himself go.

"Relax," Eddie whispers, gently rubbing Buck's back as he holds him close.

Buck takes a deep breath and lets himself be held and really, it's a new feeling for him. He's used to being the one that does the holding, and now that it's him on the other side of it, he's not really sure how to react. Eddie brings his hand up and traces Buck's hairline and runs his finger along his jaw, and that's about when Buck starts melting into Eddie.

He melts into Eddie the way that a hot summer sun melts an ice cream, he melts into it like it's the only thing in life he's ever been made for. His eyes flutter closed as he inches a tiny bit closer to Eddie and gravitates further into his warm, safe hold. Eddie responds by tightening his arm around Buck and smiling into the darkness around them.

Buck is put at ease by the consistency of Eddie's heartbeat against his head, the warmth of another body against his own, and more importantly, the kiss that Eddie presses to his hair just before he falls asleep. 

Buck couldn't have stayed awake even if he'd tried. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay well hello and thank you for stopping in!!1 So this chapter is kinda all over the place and I'm not super confident about it, but I wanted to share it anyways because that's RealLife™ ~ I hope that despite this not being perfect, you'll still find some enjoyment in reading it!  
> Please have a lovely day & do not forget that you (specifically you) are a sweet angel and a blessing to mankind! BigLove™

"Morning." Buck mumbles as he feels Eddie shift against him. The warmth of their bodies is comfortable and nothing like the searing heat of his nightmares.

Eddie lets out a soft sigh and gravitates impossibly closer to Buck, "Hey,"

Buck can't see Eddie's face due to the position they're in, but he can hear the smile in the man's gentle voice nonetheless.

"You alright?" Eddie asks in a soft voice (because of course Buck's welfare is the first thing that crosses his mind when he wakes up).

Buck's smiles into the gentle morning glare that floods through the window. "Never been better."

 

They all spend the day together because Christopher has a day off of school and and Eddie doesn't have to go into work. It's quiet and domestic and it's just what Buck needs.

Buck's sitting back in the recliner, half reading a book and half watching as the two Diazes battle it out over a rowdy game of go fish. Buck isn't sure if Eddie keeps letting him win, or if Chris is just insanely good at the game, but Chris is cleaning house every time and loving every second of it. 

Eddie throws his cards on the table as he's defeated for a fourth time and leans back in his chair, shaking his head incredulously. "You sure you're not cheating?"

"I promise!" Christopher giggles happily, shaking his head.

"Alright," Eddie gives Chris a wide smile, "Whatever you say."

"I really promise, Dad." Chris insists cheerfully.

Eddie nods, "Don't worry, I know for a fact that you would never ever cheat." He smiles fondly, gently ruffling Christopher's hair. "It's one of the many reasons why I love you."

"Love you too, Daddy." Christopher just grins as he helps stack up the playing cards. "Can I go play in my room?"

"Of course," Eddie smiles, jamming the cards into their box. "Have fun."

After he puts the cards away, Eddie comes up behind the recliner and places his strong hands on Buck's shoulders. "How's the book?"

Buck leans into the touch and smiles, "Good, I think."

"Good." Eddie nods, gently beginning to massage the strained flesh around Buck's neck.

Buck lets out a soft breath and his eyes flutter shut. "That um, that feels nice."

"Does it?" Eddie asks knowingly, letting his hands travel across Buck's shoulders and upper arms, carefully manipulating the muscles into submission.

"Yeah," Buck groans softly, completely letting himself go as Eddie works a few of the numerous knots that linger in his muscles.

"Why are you so tense?" Eddie asks softly.

"I fully blame the crutches for the state of my shoulders." Buck says without missing a beat.

Eddie nods and smiles down at Buck. "This is why you're supposed to rest more." 

"Yeah." Buck murmurs, enjoying the moment as much as he can. "But this is helping."

"I'm glad." Eddie replies jovially, continuing with the massage for a while longer, before eventually Chris recruits him and Buck to help him make a castle out of building blocks. (Chris and Eddie do most of the construction, and Buck makes a valiant effort to contribute to the building, but he quickly succumbs to his exhaustion and falls asleep on the floor with his head in Eddie's lap.)

 

The worst nightmare that Buck has (so far, maybe ever in his life) happens that night. It's not even that long after he'd excused himself to his room, maybe a few hours at most. He'd had a really good day, the _best_ day, and he can't figure out what shifted. He can't figure out what turned around or what went wrong, he can't figure out why he's suddenly shaking and breathing like he's never had a lungful of oxygen in his life.

He wakes up with his face buried in a pillow and his arms clutching his sides. The blankets, as loose as they are around him, feel like they're crushing his body. He's genuinely in pain, and the residual throbs that shoot through his skull make him feel like he's going to throw up. It's an entirely horrible experience and Buck doesn't know how to come back to earth.

He's on the edge of the bed, trembling, as he tries to scrape away the darkness that clings to him like a cloak in the night. He can feel the weight of everything, like the whole universe has a new gravitational pull and he's stuck in the center of it all.

His hands are clasped together in front of him as he makes an attempt to pull himself together. His whole body trembles as he sits there, reliving the accident like it had just happened. He's not used to this, he's not used to not being in control.

Buck stands up and peels off his damp t-shirt with the energy of a man that has nothing left to give. He throws the article of clothing on a chair nearby and watches it slide to the ground with a faint noise. He shakes his head (he's still trying to escape the unmistakable sound of crunching, groaning metal) and grabs his crutches. His legs feel like jello as he heads to the dresser and pulls out a clean shirt. 

He already begins to feel better as the cool, fresh fabric slides over his taught muscles.

Buck is aware of the fact that he should be getting back in bed and trying to go back to sleep, but the urge to follow through isn't there. He doesn't want to feel the weight of the blankets or the claustrophobia that he's begun to associate with his own mind.

He knows that he's sleep deprived and halfway to delusional in his current state, but he makes the decision to not be alone right now. He could be brave and strong and pretend like he has a handle on everything, but he's just so tired. He has no strength left and he doesn't have it in him to act like he's okay. Buck is _exhausted_ and he _needs_ this (he's not going to lie to himself and pretend he doesn't) and hopefully Eddie will forgive him later.

Buck, as silently as he can, heads out of his room, closing the door with a soft click. He walks to Eddie's room carefully, his crutches making a slight metallic ruckus as he goes.

He knocks on the door quietly, not wanting the sound to travel far enough to wake Christopher. 

"Come in." Comes a barely audible, groggy voice.

Buck slips in and carefully makes his way toward the bed. He sits down on the edge of the mattress with a grimace, then sets his crutches against the wall. He gingerly swings his legs up onto the bed and slides under the covers.

"This okay?" Buck asks tiredly, readjusting his head on the pillow.

"More than okay." Eddie smiles into the dark, shuffling over a little so Buck'd have more room.

Buck takes a deep breath and lets out a relieved sigh.

Eddie props his head up on an elbow and looks at his best friend. "Bad dream?"

Buck nods, turning onto his side to face Eddie. "Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Eddie asks carefully.

"No," Buck shakes his head, "I just want to be with you."

"I'm right here." Eddie says warmly, a small smile making its way onto his lips.

Buck nods again and ducks his head, hoping Eddie doesn't notice how much his hands are shaking. 

"Come here," Eddie whispers with a soft nod, reaching out and inviting Buck into his awaiting arms.

Buck eagerly moves into his hold and he can immediately feel the tension dissipate from his rigid body. He melts into Eddie and throws an arm around the man's waist, not wanting him to go anywhere anytime soon.

"I'm sorry." Buck utters out, a soft noise that Eddie probably wouldn't have heard had he been any further away.

"For?" Eddie finds himself asking. (He can't come up with a reason for Buck to be apologizing, not when they're close together like this.)

"The usual." Buck replies distantly, trying to keep the ever bubbling emotions from seeping into his voice.

Eddie shakes his head and presses their foreheads together. "I'm banning you from apologizing."

Buck snorts a little and Eddie calls that a huge win, all things considering. "You're so bossy." Buck replies, unshed tears clinging to his eyes. He's glad for the cover of night, glad that Eddie won't ever need to know he's this close to sobbing his heart out.

"Someone's gotta be bossy. Or else you'd be spending your entire med leave eating nothing but Oreos, and bugging Cap to let you back to work early." Eddie responds teasingly, his fingers instinctually curling into Buck's hair.

"You're probably not wrong," Buck admits, not nearly as lightheartedly as Eddie's own words. "I'd be... I don't really even want to think about having to do this alone."

"You'd be okay." Eddie smiles sadly. "But I'm glad we don't have to find out."

Buck nods, shifting a little and ducking his head beneath Eddie's chin as he lets himself be pulled close. He listens to Eddie's heart and his breathing and he's trying to let himself relax, but it's been a long night and he can't quite bring himself to forgot what he's just experienced.

Eddie can feel Buck shudder against him, he can feel his vulnerability like never before, he can feel how scared and how shaken he is. It doesn't get easier to see Buck so far gone, not one bit. 

"Buck." Eddie whispers softly.

"I'm sorry." Buck says, his voice cracking on the last word.

Eddie frowns and holds Buck more tightly. "It's okay, you know. This is okay. You don't have to be strong all the time, you don't have to pretend to be fine. I'm gonna be here for you no matter what."

"You shouldn't have to be." Buck mumbles against Eddie's chest, trying desperately hard to fight the tears that are threatening to return to his eyes.

"I don't _have_ to be." Eddie says slowly. "You—you don't think this is out of some kind of obligation, do you?"

"No, well—well, I don't know. Maybe." Buck replies tentatively.

Eddie pulls back a little and tries to make out Buck's expression in the small amount of moonlight that he has. He can't see much but he gets the sense that Buck is far less put together than he's projecting. He can practically see the thin lines of scotch tape pulling at the seams, ready to let go at any second. "You should know better, Evan." He says softly, pressing his lips to Buck's hair line.

Buck chokes back a sob and quickly returns to the safety of Eddie's chest. "I'm sorry."

Eddie smiles softly, "Don't be sorry,"

"I'm sor—" Buck catches himself and sighs. There's a short silence, then Buck speaks again. "So it's not obligation."

Eddie shakes his head, eyes closed as he lays there. "Not even remotely."

Buck seems to think for a moment, "Okay." He says softly.

"Okay." Eddie repeats in a gentle tone.

Buck takes a deep breath in and Eddie can't help but wonder if he's finally starting to relax. He's at least stopped shaking, so Eddie's pretty grateful about that.

"Thanks, Eddie." Buck murmurs, his voice just above a whisper.

Eddie gently squeezes the back of Buck's neck and smiles. His eyes are heavy and they beg to close, but he forces himself to stay awake for Buck. He wants to make sure the other man falls asleep before he does because he'll sleep better if he knows that Buck is alright. 

 

When Buck wakes up he's disoriented. He has no idea where he is or what's happening to him; he startles himself hard enough that he falls off the bed with a panicked gasp.

Eddie shoots up when he hears the sound and peers over the edge of the bed. "You okay?" He says groggily.

Buck groans at the waves pain that thrum through him, but manages to quickly slide on a brave face. He sticks a half-hearted thumbs up into the air, catching Eddie's little smile through his squinty eyes. 

Morning Eddie is a whole other kind of Eddie and Buck can't help but be taken aback. It's not the first time that Buck's seen Eddie like this, freshly awake, gravelly morning voice and messy curls falling onto his forehead, but he doesn't know if he'll ever really get used to it. Buck's stomach flips and suddenly he forgets that he even had pain in the first place, he forgets that he's on the floor and disoriented. Eddie's right there and Buck forgets about _everything_ else.

In an attempt to get him back up on the bed, Eddie stretches a hand down to Buck. Buck grabs it tightly but he makes no real effort to move so it quickly turns into glorified handholding (which elicits no complaints).

"Time is it?" Buck says softly, face pressed into his arm.

"Around six...I think." Eddie yawns, eyes closing briefly but landing back on Buck before long.

"You're picking up an extra shift today, right?"

Eddie shakes his head, "No, not anymore. I'm all yours. After I bring Chris to school anyway."

Buck nods slowly, falling back into a half doze.

"Don't fall asleep, Evan." Eddie warns gently, a warm smile on his face, "You don't need a screwed up back on top of everything else."

"True." Buck mutters, carefully shifting his weight onto his side so he could leverage himself up with his good leg and free hand.

He doesn't let go of Eddie's hand when he returns to the bed, and Eddie doesn't loosen his grip either. It's a beautiful kind of thing and it's certainly sets the precedent for the moments following. Eddie rolls closer to Buck, resting his head on his chest and smiling when Buck wraps a strong arm around him.

"Sleep okay?" Eddie asks, his head resting on top of Buck's chest.

Buck nods, eyes trailing over the wispy brown curls that stick up in every direction. "Yeah."

"Good," Eddie replies sleepily. "What would you like for breakfast?" 

"How about you stay here and let me handle breakfast this time," Buck suggests with a smile, moving his hand through Eddie's hair in an attempt to tame his unruly curls. It's a natural gesture that feels like the most normal thing in the world.

Eddie hums in pleasant surprise and grins lazily. "You're supposed to take it easy."

"I will, after I make breakfast."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Buck smiles, reluctantly separating himself from Eddie before carefully sliding off the bed. He stands up carefully, balancing on his good leg and using the bed for support. He covers Eddie with the blanket, making sure all protruding body parts are covered.

"Stay here okay?" Buck says, squeezing Eddie's shoulder. He's already half asleep once again and Buck feels a pang of guilt, knowing that he's the root of that exhaustion.

 

As Buck fumbles around in the kitchen, trying to make scrambled eggs and bacon, he finally has the brain capacity and time to process last night's events. He thinks for a long time about the nightmares and wonders how long it'll be before they're a thing of the past. He wonders how long it'll be before he can sleep through the night, before he can stop worrying about what he'll be waking up to.

He plates up three generous servings of food and looks down at his accomplishment. He's pleased with himself, and he's glad he's still able to do something useful. He has a crutch in one hand and a full plate in the other as he walks back to the master bedroom; it's a tough balancing game, but it's a game that Buck wins.

When he walks in, Eddie's fast asleep and Buck can't stop the smile of adoration that slips onto his face. He quietly sets the food on the nightstand and sits on the edge of the bed. 

"Eddie." Buck murmurs, watching as a sleepy Eddie begins to stir.

"Mm?" Eddie mumbles, his eyes fluttering open.

"I uh—" Buck looks from Eddie to the plate of food, then back to Eddie. "I made you something to eat."

Eddie follows Buck's gaze to the steaming bacon, eggs, and toast, and he grins immediately. "I thought you were kidding about breakfast."

As Buck sees the surprise and the excitement and all the beautiful emotions that flit across Eddie's face, as he sees all of that, he knows immediately that he wants to be the cause of it again. He wants to make Eddie happy, make him feel something other than the day to day static of life. He wants to give him the whole world, he wants to give him everything.

It's a thought that brings fuzzy complications for Buck. Ones that he's definitely going to be delving into later. Later, when he doesn't get to spend the day with his favourite person on earth.

They both pause as they hear Chris making his way down the hallway.

"Enjoy. Relax. I'll take care of Chris." Buck smiles, bringing the plate from the stand to Eddie's lap as he sits up against the headboard.

"You sure?" Eddie asks curiously.

Buck nods and shoots off a grin, "Of course."

Eddie just smiles joyfully, a twinkle of something more playing against his eyes. "Thanks."

Buck nods and carefully gets up, pulling his crutch up with him. "You're welcome. I'll uh—" He motions to the door. "Um, enjoy." He says a little sheepishly.

Eddie watches him go, his heart beating twice the speed of normal as he leaves.

 

Buck and Chris sit side by side as they eat breakfast. Chris had brought a comic book from his room which lays open between them. They read it together in silence as they slowly take bites of their food and occasionally comment about certain parts of the story.

Before long, Eddie saunters out of his room, now fully dressed, a wide smile on his face.

"Morning, dad." Christopher greets, smiling up at him. "Buck 'n me read a whole Ironman before you got here."

"Did you?" Eddie says incredulously, ruffling Christopher's hair and pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

"Yeah!"

"That's great, buddy, I bet it was fun."

"It was." Chris nods quickly.

Eddie smiles knowingly, "Do you think it's time to get ready for school yet?"

Chris nods again, but it's less enthusiastic. He slides off his chair and turns to Buck. "Are you going to read comics without me?" 

"I would never." Buck assured him, holding back a soft chuckle.

Chris seems pleased with the response and he leaves to go get himself ready. 

Buck starts gathering the dishes into a stack. He stands up with a wince and he's about to take everything to the kitchen, but Eddie steps close and grabs the stack from his hand. 

"Let me." He offers gently.

Buck nods, following Eddie into the kitchen and leaning heavily against the counter. He watches as Eddie loads all of the dishes into the dishwasher and heads over to the coffeemaker.

"Of course you already made coffee too," Edd grins, "You're seriously my favourite person ever."

"You must have a lot of favourite people if all it takes is making coffee." Buck says, eyebrow raised.

"Just you and Christopher. And it takes a lot more than making coffee." Eddie says with a soft laugh.

"What'd I do to be your favourite?" Buck's eyes light up, "Just asking so I know how to keep that title."

Eddie walks over to where Buck stands and hands him one of the coffees he has in his hands. "Oh, like I'm gonna tell you. That's cheating." 

Buck has a mischievous look on his face, but he nods anyways. "Sure." He replies sceptically.

"Ready, dad!" Christopher yells from the hall a few minutes later.

"That's my cue." Eddie grins, grabbing his keys and phone off the counter before turning to Buck. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"I'll try not to do anything stupid in the meantime." Buck teases, shooting Eddie a soft smile.

"You better not," Eddie grins, his eyes lighting up with amusement. "See you soon, Buck."

"See you." Buck replies lightly, watching longingly as Eddie steps away and makes his way towards his son. The front door closes too soon and a particularly eery silence crosses over the room in an instant. With a weak determination, Buck tucks his crutches under his arms and carefully makes his way to the couch, ready to finally get off his feet. After he's seated, he spends a split second trying to put his leg up on the coffee table, but quickly gives up when he realizes he doesn't have anything left to give. No energy, no drive, nothing. He just turns the TV on with a defeated sigh and reluctantly settles himself into another day of feeling absolutely useless.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since my last update and my Biggest Apologies™ for that; let's just say August was fucked.  
> I'm back now with an extra long and hopefully super enjoyable update, and I hope to be able to stay on top of it a little better from here. :) Thanks for reading homies, your continued support is something I super appreciate and I'm so thankful for your angelic souls, I love you all!!!1 <3  
> Apologies for any mistakes or inaccuracies, it's mighty late at night rn homies ~ xoxo

The next couple of days are full of Eddie being at work and Buck going to meet with his physical therapist, learning some fundamentals. The LAFD also tells him to get set up with a _therapist_ therapist too, and that's not so much Buck's thing, but apparently it's a requirement after a 'traumatic event in the workplace', so he complies. He's ready to do what it takes to get back to work, back to saving people, back to having a purpose. He's going to do everything in his power to get back to his place at the 118 and he's not about to let some mandatory therapy sessions hold him back. 

He goes and he listens and he tries to say everything he thinks they want to hear, but inside he's just counting down the minutes until Eddie's gonna pick him up. He's trying to stay positive, even when he's reminded about (for what seems the millionth time)  _'the staggering odds against him ever returning to the firehouse in an active capacity'._

Buck is more than a number, more than a data entry in an infographic. Screw the statistics. He's tired of hearing it all, tired of being told what he can't do—but he can't say that.

It's with a heavy heart that he finally exits the office and limps out into the late afternoon sun. He's makes it halfway down the front steps before he gazes around, trying to locate Eddie's vehicle. He can't see it anywhere on the street, but he's done earlier than expected so he's not really too surprised that he's not here yet.

Buck sits on the concrete steps of the building with a soft exhale and gets prepared to wait. He pulls out his phone to play a game, but it's a low battery warning and a text from Eddie that greets him. 

_Gonna be a couple of minutes, sit tight._

Buck rereads the words a few times and can't help the slight anxiousness he feels churning his stomach. He ~~wants~~ needs to see Eddie, like asap.

When he does eventually pull up, he has a smile on his face and a bag of takeout sitting on the center console. It's immediately comforting in the eyes of a particularly worn out, emotionally exhausted Buck, and he wastes no time in heading toward the man.

After chucking his crutches in the back, Buck is slides into the passenger seat with a sigh, letting his head fall against the headrest with an exhausted grunt.

"It went that good, huh?" Eddie comments lightly as he pulls back onto the road.

Buck just shakes his head and turns his gaze from the street ahead to Eddie. He smiles a little because Eddie looks happy, and that in itself is one of Buck's favourite things. He feels lighter already, but he still can't shake the feeling of desperation and anxiety that therapy has left him with.

As they get home, Eddie has a glint of concern playing at his features but he does well to hide it. There's a large part of him that wants to get to the bottom of it, to figure out what's got the man so down. He wants to help and make it all better, but he also knows it's important for Buck to have his space. For him to feel safe—safe and free to openly feel and express the emotions that are eating him up on the inside. So he leaves it, instead focusing on making sure Buck makes it into the house without tripping over his crutches.

They eat in silence. On the couch, (only inches between them—even though there's plenty of seating in the room). With a beer. Because it's a special night.

It's special in the sense that they're alone and have the house to themselves, special in the way that they're just  _making_ it special. Because it just _feels_ special.

"You wanna talk about it?" Eddie asks gently after they've both relaxed into the evening. He tries to act casual, but the back of his mind nags and tells him he should shut up and let Buck figure it out for himself.

Buck's settled against Eddie's side and seems surprised by the question; he tenses a little, Eddie feels it through the thin fabric on his shoulder. "It was fine." Buck replies shortly. His normally well-crafted defences are practically in shambles and he doesn't have the energy to pretend he's okay, not today. Not after the 'therapy' (air quotes because at this point in time, Buck feels like it's bureaucratic red tape bullshit that isn't good for anything).

"What's wrong?" Eddie says in a soft voice that just makes Buck want to _melt_. 

"She just—" Buck shrugs and tries to figure out how to answer. "—I don't think...well, it's—"

Buck is jumbled and Eddie's heart throbs. There's a cut-off sigh and a soft noise that hangs heavy in the air, and a weak  _"I'm just..."_   tumbles out of Buck's mouth.

Eddie wants to hold him tight and tell him everything's going to be alright—but he knows this is a vulnerable moment; Buck's letting him in—in his own way, he's letting him in—and it's not that that's a rare occurrence these days, but Eddie understands there's value behind it. So he sits still and he lets Buck pave the path, pick the route.

"I don't want to talk about it." Buck says finally, a few tense minutes later. Because he doesn't. He doesn't want to revisit the accident like the therapist's made him do ten times already, he doesn't want anyone to remind him that he'll never be himself, that he'll never be the same.

"That's okay." Eddie says to him, voice all quiet, like he's afraid he's gonna hurt Buck if he's any louder. 

Something clicks for Buck as the gentle words hit him, and so he says the one thing that's been bothering him most, aside from the leg thing and the work thing. "She thinks it'd be good for me to try and mend my relationship with Ali, she thinks I was just hot-headed and in denial when I ended things with her."

Eddie turns his head and studies Buck for a few lengthy moments. "And what do you think?"

"I told her that Ali wasn't good for me, even before the accident, she wasn't good for me..." Bucks shrugs and he lets his eyes flutter closed momentarily. "I told her."

"What did she say to that?" Eddie asks, already mentally preparing to hear something he won't want to hear.

"She said that in order to _heal_ , I need to have the right support system, and she said Ali is my best shot at that. According to her, I should just invite her back into my life with an open mind and see where it goes." Buck says tiredly, like it pains him just to say the words aloud.

Eddie lightly bites down on his bottom lip to keep from saying something he'll regret. He takes a moment, pulls himself together and he puts out the only thing he can really think to say, the thing that suddenly jumps to the forefront of his mind. "Do you feel like you don't have a support system?"

"I know I have one. A big one. And I thought I made that quite clear to her, especially um—especially the part about the super amazing person who's been sticking by me through all this. But by the end of that session, she still hadn't gotten it through her thick skull and apparently my homework for next session is calling Ali."

Eddie is initially excited by Buck's words about him, but he quickly becomes a little nervous. "Are you going to? ...What happens if you don't?" He asks, raising an eyebrow inquisitively.

Buck shrugs, like he's been tossing around the same question in his mind, "I honestly have no idea... but knowing what she's like, I'll be kinda be surprised if there's no backlash for not listening to her... I don't really care though, there's no way I'm doing it."

"I thought you were just going to do and say everything right so that you can get your assessment over with." 

"Yeah, well, I think calling my ex kinda send the wrong message to the guy I'm trying to win over. And he's more important to me than any of this."

"Hey, no. You already won him over." Eddie smiles, attempting to fight the butterflies that try to carry his stomach away. It's the first time either one of them has verbally acknowledged what's started building between them, and even though the words are light, it feels like a big deal. 

"How did I manage to do that?" Buck grins sleepily, letting his head fall from Eddie's shoulder to his lap, eyes twinkling with an energy he hasn't really had all day.

"You're Evan Buckley, what's not to like?" Eddie peers down at Buck and cups a hand around his jaw.

Buck shrugs a little but his smile doesn't fade (not in the slightest, he's still in his _top of the moon_ moment). "My robo-leg and current lack of independence."

Eddie laughs soft and quiet; it sounds like a calm ocean, water gently lapping up against a sandy beach, "Trust me, the equipment in your leg is enchanting." Eddie's instincts tell him to gaze anywhere but at Buck, but he wants to make sure his next words get across, so he looks the man deep in the eyes, "I wouldn't want you to be anywhere else than with me."

Buck's heart flips inside his chest and he has to make a conscious effort to breathe. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else either."

Eddie grins and knocks their knees together lightly. They both settle into a comfortable silence as they soak in the moment and process what's been said. Buck feels tired from his exponentially exhausting day, but he fights the sleep that begs to take him in favour of staying awake and just being with Eddie. 

It's a few minutes later that Buck really begins to fade, he's dozing and jerking back awake, and it would almost be funny if it wasn't so heartbreaking. 

"C'mon Buck, let's get you to bed." Eddie says with a gentle smile.

Buck shakes his head, because no, _not_ the plan. He wants to be with _Eddie_. "I want to be here."

"But a bed would be comfier, and we both know you're going to pass out soon regardless of where you are." Eddie replies, his words accompanied by a slightly teasing, mostly wholesome feeling of warmth.

"I want to be here because you're here." Buck explains further, his head sinking further into the back of the couch as he relaxes.

"I'll go with you—to bed—if you want." Eddie suggests, unable to keep from sneaking glances at Buck's completely relaxed body, the way it's settled deep into the cushions.

It's kinda funny, because imagine Eddie saying this to Buck two weeks ago. Imagine if they hadn't slept in the same bed before and the sentence (which on its own, sounds intimate enough) didn't come with the concrete expectations they've unknowingly established. It's funny to think, now, how far they've come in such a short time, that an invitation to sleep together doesn't phase either of them. 

Buck nods and grabs his crutches from where he'd discarded them on the floor. Eddie gets up at the same time as him and waits patiently, watching as Buck tiredly makes his way forward. He stumbles a little when a crutch knocks into the coffee table and sets him off balance, but Eddie quickly reaches out from behind and steadies him.

"Thanks." Buck says softly, looking down at the hands on his waist (and how perfect they look there).

"I got your back, remember?" Eddie smiles as he remembers the moment when Buck had been an adorable, bumbling dork, and how they'd promised then—right after they'd removed live ammo from a leg—that they'd watch out for each other. It's a moment that sticks with Eddie, even now, even as they stand together in silence.

Eddie leans forward and presses a kiss to the side of Buck's neck, before carefully pulling away. "Bed."

Buck nods and follows as Eddie takes him to his room.

There's an awkward half-moment that passes wherein Buck isn't too sure what's expected of him, but Eddie makes it easy. Eddie doesn't make him think, he leads him right to the bed and he gently pushes him to sit on the edge of the mattress. He carefully takes the crutches, sets them up against the wall beside the bed and turns back to Buck.

Buck is looking up at him like he's the most beautiful thing in world and as worn out as he is, he feels more alive than ever.

A smile spreads over Eddie's lips. He watches as Buck takes his shirt off, admiring the way the skin of his abdomen contrasts against the pair of black athletic shorts he's wearing.

"How are you?" Eddie asks as Buck sits a little further back and pulls his legs onto the bed. 

Buck lays back and laces his fingers behind his head just as Eddie pulls the blankets over his legs and up to his waist. (He can't in good conscience cover _everything_ up.) Buck watches as Eddie shuts the lights off, rounds the bed and removes his shirt also, before climbing into the empty side. "Right now? I'm okay. Better."

"That's great." Eddie slides under the covers and props his head up with his hand, so he can run his gaze over Buck. 

"How are _you?"_ Buck asks, turning onto his side so that he can look at Eddie too. It's not exactly dark, but the sun has set and the sky is a low lit dusky array that doesn't bring much light into Eddie's room.

"I'm good. Really good." Eddie nods and notices the way Buck's trying to focus in on him. He's exhausted, that's not hard to see, but he's still trying to stay awake for Eddie. He's trying to show how much he values Eddie and Eddie thinks it's the most beautiful thing ever.

"Maybe tomorrow..." Buck starts, his eyes getting heavier and heavier with each passing second. "Maybe we could um—I'm sorry...Eddie...I can't even think—"

"Evan." Eddie says in a whisper, "C'mere, we can talk in the morning. Just come let me hold you."

Buck nods tiredly and shuffles a little closer to Eddie, tucking his head against his chest like it was made to be there. Eddie, still mostly propped up on his elbow, smiles and starts running a hand through Buck's hair, hoping to soothe him that extra bit.

 

 

"Listen Evan, at the rate you're going, I'm not sure that I'm going to be able to sign off on this assessment."

Buck tries to take a deep breath and remember that he just needs to get through the last twenty minutes of this session. He tries to pull himself together enough that she can't see the holes in the tape that's keeping him together in this moment. There are tears that threaten to come to the front of his eyes, but he pushes them back as best he can.

"Um..? What are you saying?" Buck replies calmly, "I don't get it."

"You want back on the job, I know, but if you can't even listen to my instructions and work to improve yourself, I just don't see it happening."

"I've been doing everything right. There's nothing wrong with me, I'm not traumatized or messed up, I'm fine."

"In my professional opinion, you're not, Evan. You can't get back on a firetruck as you are. You need to step out of this denial and try to understand that firefighting is going to be part of your past, _not_ your present and certainly not your future."

"I see." Buck replies, completely defeated as he tries to come to terms with what he's being told. "I uh—I have to go." He gets out, his gaze as steady as he can make it.

"Evan, now just wait—"

Buck shakes his head as he gets up, "I'm sorry, I forgot I had something going on this afternoon."

"But you scheduled a full hour session—"

"I'm sorry, thank you for your time." Buck says coldly, pulling his jacket on before grabbing his crutches.

Buck gets up as quickly as he can and make his way down the elevator and out of the front door just as the emotions break the barrier he's been trying so hard to hold up. He pulls out his phone with shaky hands and goes to Eddie's contact, there's barely two rings before Eddie picks up.

"Buck?" He says, slightly surprised, "I thought your session wasn't done for a while yet?"

"It's not," Buck says with an unintentionally distraught tone. "I uh..."

"Hey, what's wrong?" Eddie says softly when he notices the emotion in Buck's voice. "Something happen?"

"Can you—um—" Buck starts, his voice faltering when he realizes he's about to lose it.

"I'll be there in five minutes."

Buck nods because he can't use his words. He can't say anything because he's terrified that Eddie'll know he's silently crying with tears falling to his cheeks.

"You there?" Eddie asks, his voice heavy with concern.

"Yeah." Buck replies shakily, the word accompanied by shallow breaths.

"It's okay, Ev." Eddie guides him, "I'm gonna be there soon."

Buck just stands there by the curb and tries to fight the urge to walk straight into traffic. 

Maybe he is the statistic, maybe he won't ever get back.

Eddie arrives just in time and gets out before Buck can even begin to open the passenger side door. He strides over, takes note of Buck's red-rimmed eyes and slumped posture, and immediately brings him into a gentle embrace.

It's tender until Buck chokes back a sob and returns the hug, then it's desperate and they're clinging to each other like they're life lines. 

Buck's heart feels weak, like it's about to stop beating, but Eddie tightens his grip around Buck and he suddenly feels a whole lot less like he's about to fall apart.

The feeling of comforting warmth against him brings clarity. He suddenly realizes that even if he has nothing else in this world, even if he's never a firefighter again, he'll have Eddie. 

And maybe that's enough.

 

 

"Buck did you even look this chick up before you booked a session with her?" 

Buck looks over to where Eddie is sitting by the kitchen table, eyes trained on the screen of his laptop. It's late at night, Christopher is fast asleep in bed, and Eddie stays awake with a sleepless Buck who's still not quite recovered from his day.

Buck shakes his head, "Not really. She was just the first name I came across that was in a convenient spot."

Eddie raises an eyebrow and lets his gaze travel up to Buck. "She's got a one star rating online..." He says quietly. 

"Really?" Buck asks in surprise, "Does that mean—"

"That maybe she just sucks at her job? Probably." Eddie smiles lightly. "Buck, do you know what this means?"

"I'm not so screwed up after all?" He says with a soft, short laugh.

Eddie shrugs as he closes his laptop, "I mean, I wasn't gonna put it quite like that, but yeah."

Buck smiles and takes another sip of the tea that Eddie had made him not too long ago. He slides off the kitchen countertop and lands on his good leg, swaying a little but keeping steady. 

A yawn comes from Eddie as he stands up and stretches out with a muted groan. He looks tired, maybe a little worse for wear, but still as handsome as the first day he'd laid eyes on him.

"You should go to bed." Buck suggests as he shamelessly admires the way Eddie walks over to him.

Eddie nods, a knowing expression on his face as he replies, "So should you." 

"I think I'm going to shower first." Buck says with a tired smile.

"Need help?" Eddie asks, raising an eyebrow warily.

Buck shakes his head with mock incredulity, "Always looking for a chance to catch me with my clothes off, huh?"

"No," Eddie's ears tinge pink as he looks to the floor. "Well, I mean, yeah—but no." He looks up and locks onto Buck's eyes. "So you don't need help then?"

A glint of amusement flashes across Buck's eyes. "No. You should head to bed. I'll be okay."

"Use my bathroom." Eddie suggests in the next second, just as Buck takes another sip of his tea. 

Buck raises a questioning eyebrow.

"Bigger shower, more room for your peg leg." Eddie teases with an innocent smirk.

Buck can't help but smile. He ducks his head for a moment, then he's setting his empty cup in the sink and turning back to the other man. "But I'll keep you awake if I use your shower, and you need to get your rest."

Eddie shakes his head, and flashes Buck a wide smile, "I promise to sleep through your noisy shower." 

"Even when I slip and crack my head open on the tiles?"

"Especially then." Eddie agrees with a sarcastic nod and a stifled chuckle.

"Mhmm," Buck replies knowingly, cracking a soft grin. "Very funny."

A light shrug falls from Eddie's shoulders as they begin the short walk to Eddie's room and en suite, "Somebody's gotta get that beautiful smile out of hiding. I've barely seen it all evening."

"Not one of my best days." Buck responds tentatively, his cheery expression fading a little, "I'm sorry."

"Nah, don't be." Eddie shakes his head and takes a step closer, "Just wish I could've made it better."

"You did." Buck is quick to intercede, "I—you did make it better. So much better."

"Have a good shower," Eddie says with a gentle smile as they pass into Eddie's room. "If you need me just call out, I'll be right here."

Buck nods tiredly, but he can't help being happy as he limps over to the door of the bathroom.

"Oh, and—" Eddie says, looking up just as Buck's about to go in, "I put those cast sleeve things in the third drawer. And uh—if you feel too wore out to walk back to your own room after you're done you can just crash in my bed. I mean, if you want." 

Buck grins and leans his weight on the crutches, "I might be all wet and tired and I'd probably steal all the blankets."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." 

"Alright," Buck nods with a soft laugh, before slipping into the bathroom. 

 

The late night finds a freshly showered and sleepy Buck slipping into bed with an open-armed Eddie. The end up close, like in each other's arms kind of close. Their faces are painted with the glow of the moonlight, and the rise and fall of their chests fall into each other. They're both asleep before they can even process how happy they feel in the moment, in the rare moment that the universe seems to have finally gotten it right. Settled together in perfect bliss.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi and welcome to chapter 9 of the big soft crack fic that is _free fall. _  
> settle in and get comfy, it's time to prepare for some honey nut feelios.  
>  please enjoy! i love all of you, seriously all of you, you're all my favourite and you are all so beautiful and perfect ily homies <3__

"Ready for your big day?" Buck asks Eddie, who's standing in front of the kitchen window with a steaming coffee tucked low in his hand, mindlessly staring outside.

Eddie turns to gaze at Buck, smiling a little at the sleep lines that linger on the left side of his face and the way his blue eyes sparkle in the morning light. "As ready as I'll ever be."

"You seem nervous." Buck replies as he grabs a mug from the cupboard and starts pouring himself a coffee. He hisses as a small amount of the hot liquid splashes against the rim of the cup and ricochets onto his hand. _"Damnit."_  He huffs under his breath, immediately shaking his hand off before apprehensively looking at the offended area.

"I don't get nervous."Eddie gingerly grabs Buck's hand and tugs him toward the sink, where he turns on the water. He carefully tests the temperature with his finger, checking to make sure it's good and cold before he cautiously pulls Buck's hand under. 

"Then why are you already on your what—third coffee?" Buck asks, wincing as the frigid stream flows over his mildly burned hand. Eddie raises an eyebrow and turns his body to face Buck, while still holding his hand under the tap. "How would you know how much coffee I've had?"

 Buck tips his head and looks toward the coffeemaker. "I haven't had any yet, and the machine is already more than half empty."

"Well don't ever let anyone tell you that you aren't observant." Eddie huffs, tenderly removing Buck's hand and checking on his fingers, which he's pretty sure got the brunt of the heat.

"So why are you nervous?" Buck asks once again, letting Eddie take his hand back under even thought it feels fine at this point.

Eddie shrugs, the movement barely noticeable, "I dunno... It's kinda stressful."

"What part of it feels stressful?" Buck is genuinely interested, and it makes Eddie's whole chest swell with warmth.

"I didn't do anything to deserve a bunch of people celebrating me, a lot of people, my _family_ , they think I'm a hero. All I did was not screw up long enough to pass my probation." Eddie laughs dryly, an aimless shrug falling from his shoulders as he does.

Buck locks his eyes with Eddie, searching his expression with interest. "You are a hero."

"Buck, I'm not a hero _."_

"You're _my_ hero."

"I didn't do anything for—anyone would have..." Eddie trails off when he catches the seriousness in Buck's eyes.

"I know everyone's got my back." Buck shrugs after a moment. "But I don't exactly think anyone cares about me the way you do."

"I'd hope not." Eddie murmurs, moving his full attention to Buck's hand before Buck can question the implications of the statement. "I think you'll live."

Buck can't really feel his hand thanks to the cold water, but he flexes it instinctively and nods. "Thanks."

Eddie smiles through the blush that's begging to drift onto his cheeks. "Now, how about you sit down and I'll make you breakfast."

"How about I make _you_ breakfast." Buck suggests with a smile.

Eddie shakes his head a split-second either, "I'm uh—I'm not hungry."

"You gotta eat something, Eds. I can't have you passing out or something."

There's a glint of something in Eddie's eyes, something he can't place.

"You're really that nervous?" Buck asks a few moments later, it's tentative, like he's not sure if he's allowed to ask that.

Eddie doesn't say anything and fixes a hard stare to the ceiling. Buck knows that Eddie doesn't have the easiest time opening up these days, so he gets it (and maybe he sees a little of himself in that). "If it helps at all, I'll be there."

"It does." Eddie gives a small smile and steps closer to Buck, leaning against the counter a little as he does. "But for the record, I still think you should stay home and rest."

"I'm not missing your end of probation ceremony, Diaz," Buck shakes his head.

Eddie just smiles and lets out a content sigh, admiring Buck who's already dressed in his uniform with his hair neatly pushed back. "I'm glad."

"Good. And uh—what do you think of letting me take you and Christopher out for dinner after? Assuming it doesn't go too late and I'm not a zombie by then."

"Buck, you don't have to—"

"Eddie." Buck interrupts, placing a hand on Eddie's arm. "I'd really like to."

"But—"

"Am I gonna have to pull the leg card?"

Eddie looks at Buck for a few moments before he reluctantly nods. "Okay then, if you insist." He agrees, a smile teasing the corner of his lips while his heart skips a beat.

"Good." Buck grins cheerfully, clapping Eddie on the shoulder and taking a large drink of his still steaming coffee. "It's a date then." 

Eddie raises an eyebrow.

"If that's cool, I mean—it doesn't have to be a _date_ date if you don't—"

"It sounds perfect." Eddie says happily, unable to stop the grin the forces itself onto his face, "I'd love to go on a _date_ date with you."

 

The ceremony is everything Eddie hadn't realized he'd wanted. Everyone is full of love and support, and even if he still isn't quite convinced he deserves it, it feels good. His heart is as full as it can be, especially when Christopher walks up to give him his helmet, and it's all so perfect.

Buck, at times during the day, finds himself forgetting that he's laid up. It feels so familiar, being here, inside these walls. He's stoked to be seeing his people again; most of them had visited while he was still in the hospital, but since he's been at Eddie's he's only seen a few people. His own fault really. He'd been invited to get togethers and was always reminded that he could hang at the station whenever he wanted, but between his lack of sleep and the pain that still continued to creep up on him, he rarely felt motivated to do things. _Especially_ when he could just stay home and fall asleep in Eddie's arms.

Being here now though, he begins to realize how much he's really been missing the whole 118 and being an active part of _this_ family.

It starts getting a little frustrating when all people want to ask is _'when are you coming back to work?'_ knowing he can't give an answer. But he's still happy, he still tries to be happy. He knows that they all mean well and it's just their way of being supportive, but he's also admittedly finding it a little mentally—or maybe emotionally—draining.

There's a draw to his physical strength as things progress, as he continues to stand and mingle amongst the crowd. He pushes forward though—he meets some of Eddie's family that had come down for the weekend to help celebrate and gets to catch up with quite a few people. 

Eventually he knows he's overdone it a little. There's a slight sheen of sweat on his face, he's dizzy and shaky, and the edges of his vision start to blur soon enough.

He's just beginning to wonder if he's gonna make it through the rest of the day without passing out, when suddenly there's a hand on his shoulder trying to get his attention.

When he turns, Buck is mildly surprised to see that it's Bobby standing before him. 

"You doing alright?" Bobby asks with a smile. "I didn't expect you to be here, I thought you were supposed to be taking it easy."

"I'm good, Cap." Buck nods, trying to project as much confidence as he can. "I can handle a little party."

Bobby seems to study Buck for a moment. "Well, as long as you aren't overdoing it." 

Buck is about to reply when Hen comes and joins them with an excited laugh, "Buckeroo!!" 

Her grin is contagious and Buck can't help but smile back. "Hen!" He exclaims cheerfully, letting Hen pull him into a large hug.

"Karen and I have been meaning to drop by. How are you doing?" 

"I'm still not quite back to normal," Buck admits, not missing the way Bobby's eyes narrow at the words. "But I'm on track and I really feel like I'm going to make it back from this."

"Aw I'm so glad to hear that, it's just not the same here without you." She replies and Buck knows by the way she says it, that she means it, and that makes for a good feeling all in itself.

"I should come visit the station more." Buck responds with a tired smile.

"Or maybe you should keep resting?" Bobby has a hint of a smile on his face, like he knows Buck is never actually going to listen to that tidbit of advice.

"I've been resting twenty-four seven, Cap." Buck tries to say lightly, though both Hen and Bobby can hear the restrained frustration bordering on the edges of the words.

"I can't picture you sitting still for more than five minutes." Hen laughs fondly, squeezing Buck's shoulder.

Buck ducks his head and produces what he hopes is a strong nod. "I even started reading a book."

Hen looks surprised and Bobby is amused. "Who are you and what have you done with Buck?" Hen asks jokingly, an incredulous grin on her face.

"What did I just hear about my brother reading books?" Maddie pops into their little circle of sorts and curls an arm around Buck's neck.

"C'mon, it's not a big deal." Buck shrugs sheepishly.

"It is, considering the last time I saw you voluntarily read anything was in elementary school."

"Yeah and when's the last time _you_ read anything, Mads," Buck retorts with a soft laugh and a half-grin.

"Excuse me?" Comes a voice from across the room. It's Eddie's, Buck knows it instinctively. "Can I get everyone's attention for a minute?"

People start milling a little closer to where Eddie is, and Buck takes the opportunity to sink into one of the chairs at an empty table; sighing as he stretches out his weary legs. 

"I just wanted to thank you all for coming, your support really means a lot and I can't put into words how grateful I am to all of you—" He momentarily locks eyes with Buck, who gives him an encouraging nod and a smile that lights up his world. "—I'm really appreciative for the one-eighteen and everyone who helped me get to where I am now. I know I sure as hell couldn't have done it alone. It's been amazing for me and Christopher to find such a perfect family here, to feel welcomed into this place and to be supported. I can never thank any of you enough, but looks like we got some delicious cake to dig into, so I guess that's a start."

Everyone claps when Eddie's short speech comes to a close, and though most people aren't looking close enough to see it, Buck notices that Eddie starts tearing up towards the end. It's a beautiful moment and it becomes only more beautiful when everybody starts coming up and hugging him. Buck wants to go join them, he wants to show Eddie that he cares and that he supports him, but he's worried he won't even be able to make the distance.

A few minutes later, when things have died down a little, Eddie makes his way over to Buck and Chris, bearing three slices of delicious looking cake.

"How are my two favourite guys in the world?" Eddie says as he settles down into the seat beside Buck, sitting closer than what's probably necessary.

Buck's heart does a double take at the words, and even though the sentiment don't surprise him, it means the world to him. 

"We're good, dad." Chris says with a big cheesy grin. 

"Buck?" Eddie asks, looking at him expectantly. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Buck nods, eyes lingering on Eddie's gaze longer than he means too.

Their table is soon joined by Chim and Maddie, Hen and Karen, and Bobby and Athena. They talk and they laugh and they catchup, and soon enough, Chris is asleep in Buck's arms and Buck doesn't look too far behind him. 

"I should get these guys home," Eddie eventually announces with a smile as he stands. He starts gathering empty paper plates from the table, but Maddie quickly snatches them away.

"We'll clean up here." Maddie says in amusement. "It'll be enough work to wrangle Buck into your car in that condition." She snickers, watching the way Buck's eyes jerk open at hearing his name.

"Fair enough," Eddie smiles fondly. "Thank you guys, by the way, I really appreciated everything today."

"It was our pleasure, Eddie." Bobby nods jovially; everyone following with their own nods or soft _yeahs_.

As much as he doesn't want to ruin the perfect picture, Eddie reaches down and pulls Chris out of Buck's strong grip and into his own arms. "Buck, you coming?"

Buck nods wearily and at first he struggles to get to his feet, but after a few seconds he manages to find his balance. He says a goodbye to everyone at the table and then he's on autopilot as he follows Eddie. It feels like an exponentially long walk, but it's really only a couple of minutes until they reach the designated 118 parking lot.

He settles into the passenger seat while Eddie buckles up Chris, and he's nearly asleep by the time the other man is finished.

"Ready to go home?" Eddie asks as he slides into the driver's seat and pulls on his seatbelt.

Buck cracks open his eyes, "I guess we're postponing our date?"

"I think we should, you already overdid it enough for one day." Eddie nods warmly. "But that doesn't mean we can't have a nice night in." He adds, smiling in Buck's direction as he turns the car on.

"I'm sorry." Buck sighs, shaking his head at himself in frustration.

"Sorry? For what?" Eddie asks curiously.

"I thought I could do it all. I thought I was stronger."

"You are strong. Stronger than anyone I know. But we all have our limits, Evan."

"Leave it to you to be the smooth talking, rational one." Buck raises an eyebrow teasingly and sets his hand over the center console, palm up in invitation.

Eddie immediately reaches for Buck's hand, lacing their fingers together with something of a familiar ease and tightening his grip. "One of us has to be." Eddie teases, squeezing Buck's hand.

"Oh look, he's the funny one too," Buck replies in amusement, letting his eyes fall closed for just a split-second (that turns into thirteen minutes, because apparently he's _that_   tired out).

"Buck." Eddie murmurs softly, drawing out the name. He brings a hand up to cup the side of Buck's face, and he can't help but smile at the man's relaxed expression. "Buck, c'mon. We're home."

Buck's eyes flutter open weakly and his gaze immediately lands on Eddie. A soft, tired smile crosses his face and he sighs, "Sorry for falling 'sleep." He says, trying to coordinate all his limbs and start making his way out of the car.

"It's okay. You had a long day." Eddie assures him, squeezing his shoulder tightly. "Let's get you and Chris inside, then how about we order pizza and watch a movie?"

"Sounds good to me." Buck smiles wearily, taking the crutches that Eddie offers to him. 

"You think you can make it in on your own alright? I think I'll have to carry Chris in." Eddie says fondly, eyes on his sweet son, fast asleep in the back seat.

"Yeah, of course." Buck nods, following the other man's gaze and smiling when he catches sight of Chris. "Looks like I'm not the only one who's had a long day." He comments lightly, his heart overflowing as Christopher twitches a little in his sleep. Once Eddie rounds the car and gets to Christopher's door, Buck gets to his feet with a suppressed groan, doing his best to hid the wince on his face.

Chris clings to Eddie and Buck does his best to unlock the front door before they get there (but he can't—his hands are shaking too bad). 

"Buck?" Eddie asks in concern, voice low as he speaks.

"Mm?" Buck replies innocently enough, letting Eddie take the key from his hands.

"Why are you shaking like that?" By this time, Chris had woken up and he turns his head to look at Buck too.

"I um—I don't know. I'm just tired."

"Go lay down on the couch, alright?" Eddie orders in a soft, gentle voice, as they get inside. He sets Chris down on the bench by the door so he can start removing his shoes and turns his attention back to Buck.

Buck isn't about to argue with Eddie, especially not when he walks with him to the couch, eyes all worry and body language suggesting that he's ready to catch Buck if he decides to pass out. Buck sags into the cushions heavily, accidentally dropping his crutches to the floor in the process. He goes to try and pick them up, but bumps his head on the coffee table just as he's reaching down. He feels warm, too warm, and he feels chills crawling uncomfortably up and down his spine. 

"I got them, Ev." Eddie says softly, reaching down to pick up the crutches himself. He manhandles Buck into the cushions and smiles when Buck gives him a weak thumbs up.

Eddie heads back to Christopher and helps him untie his second shoe (damn double-knot gets everyone now and then), then they head to the kitchen and go about making some hot chocolate. It's not winter and it's not even cold, but he figures that they could all use a treat right now; especially Buck, who Eddie suspects is either just exponentially exhausted or has a mild case of low blood sugar. Either way, he figures this is a good start.

Buck, to both Chris and Eddie's surprise, is not asleep when they finally make it back to the living room with big mugs of rich, chocolatey goodness. He's awake, and he's managed to sorta sit up against the end of the couch.

"You better yet, Bucky?" Chris asks curiously, climbing onto the couch cushion beside Buck.

"Getting there, superman." Buck smiles optimistically, squeezing Christopher's shoulder gently. "Thanks."

Eddie comes closer, an unreadable expression on his face as he sets a bright red mug with the words 'world's hottest firefighter' (with the word 'hottest' written with cartoon flames, of course) in Buck's hands. There are mini marshmallows bobbing in the steaming hot cocoa-y goodness, and it instantly warms Buck's hands and heart.

A substantial grin spreads over Buck's lips as he reads the sentiment, and he can't help but be amused. "I think you gave me your cup, Eds." He says, raising his eyebrow indicatively.

"Nah, that one's got your name all over it." Eddie smiles, slipping a wink into the end of the sentence.

Buck just smirks at him and he can't believe he gets to go on a _date_ date with this guy soon; and despite his screwed up leg and the screwed up things that keep happening to him, he finds himself feeling incredibly lucky.


End file.
